Venting In a ton of physical pain, just need to vent

[bob mcbob]

A medical mistake left me with an incurable neurological disorder. Every day gets worse, and I know my fate in the coming years - eventually I wont be able to walk, or feel my hands and feet. I've been depressed as long as I can remember - tried suicide at 17, failed, have held off for two decades but I'm at my breaking point.

Sad thing is if I had my health I could push through this - I have a great job, live in a fun city and am not awfully hideous :).

But every morning I wake up in immense pain, and drug myself through the day. It's untenable long term.

I read through the ctb methods and they're overwhelming, mentally and in some cases the process is too. I'm not there yet but I know I will be soon; I just can't handle this much pain every day.

Anyhow, thank you for reading and accepting me in the community. Wishing you all peace.

 

[iwanttodie000]

So sorry you have to endure such immense pain. I hope something can change for you positively. Ctb methods can be overwhelming for sure, it's something many of us have gone back and forth with for years, it takes a lot of time to figure out sometimes. Welcome to the community, wishing you peace as well.

 

[bob mcbob]

So sorry you have to endure such immense pain. I hope something can change for you positively. Ctb methods can be overwhelming for sure, it's something many of us have gone back and forth with for years, it takes a lot of time to figure out sometimes. Welcome to the community, wishing you peace as well.

Thank you so much

 

[WornOutLife]

I've read every single word you wrote.
I've also postponed my suicide for 2 decades. I think my time will come soon.
Anyway, if you wanna talk, just pm me. I can at least help you by being virtually by your side.

 

[bob mcbob]

I've read every single word you wrote.
I've also postponed my suicide for 2 decades. I think my time will come soon.
Anyway, if you wanna talk, just pm me. I can at least help you by being virtually by your side.

Thank you. I'll definitely take you up on this.

 

[articledon]

I feel you, it is overwhelming with the planning, timing etc. there are so many in this community that will comfort you in your time of need