Venting Impulsive ctb after arguing

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Does anyone feels like ctbing after arguing with someone? I find this happens to me lately. When I argue with someone I feel an extreme necessity of killing myself. But I know this is impulsive and impulsiveness could lead to failure and worsen things.

 

[Despondent]

I surely do. Sometimes it's not even after arguing, but just after talking to someone that I don't wish to talk to

 

[Tintypographer]

Every time my spouse screams at me ornthe kids

 

[lmroch]

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[Lunarhour]

Not for me really. Arguments can pump me up, get my adrenaline going, making me more powerful and increasing my will to survive to prove them wrong. Big ego you can say, almost ape like.

Going to my mail box, reading writing on piece of paper that i will be evicted in two days if i dont pay my rent is enough. Its a silent nuclear exploision in my head, with silent alarms ringing and i quietly look out the window and begin to think of ways to crucify myself.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Since some aspects of my life may improve, my health not. Sadly I became a man that only wish to be dead. Had many goals and I can't see myself like this. It's like I'm ashamed of myself. Difficult to cope.

 

[MephistoJustBeneath]

Yes, every time I get a lecture from my parents about how I'm not doing anything with myself and they don't know how to help me. It only reinforces my belief that they won't actually be all that sad when I'm gone.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I am not afraid to die. I'm afraid to be in a worse situation than now.

 

[Final Escape]

I am not afraid to die. I'm afraid to be in a worse situation than now.

Same here

 

[cosmonaut]

How convenient of a thread - I just finished having an argument about college with my parents.

Makes me want to ctb everytime. I can't wait to graduate and never see them again.

 

[Deleted member 17331]

Yes, wow... Any discussion makes me lose my mind and cry uncontrollably. And it hurts even more when people ask me about my future. No psychiatric remedy has helped me to hold these emotions, which ends up scaring people around me away.

And I try to control myself not to stick a knife in my throat.

 

[K-O]

one of the reasons everyone's blocked and i dont open the door!

 

[RileyTanaka]

This post really hit me. It's not about the fight, it's just that one last thing that pushes you over the edge when you already have too many reasons not to live. One day I know I'll succumb the same way - just one more shitty, hurtful interaction with someone at a point where I have no will or health left and I won't even react. I'll just go home, begin taking the regimen/SN and say goodnight.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

This post really hit me. It's not about the fight, it's just that one last thing that pushes you over the edge when you already have too many reasons not to live. One day I know I'll succumb the same way - just one more shitty, hurtful interaction with someone at a point where I have no will or health left and I won't even react. I'll just go home, begin taking the regimen/SN and say goodnight.

Yeah. It's like I'm on the edge waiting for some bad situation to push me.

 

[Mooshi]

Does anyone feels like ctbing after arguing with someone? I find this happens to me lately. When I argue with someone I feel an extreme necessity of killing myself. But I know this is impulsive and impulsiveness could lead to failure and worsen things.

Yes. Whenever I get into an argument with anyone, no matter how big or small, my suicidal ideation worsens and I just wanna ctb more at that moment.