Impatient

[Bye_Bye]

I feel so impatient waiting for SN to come. Ordered off bidding site coming from EU country to UK.

I just want this to be done with now, can hardly get out of bed, I don't want to see people or even leave to get food.

Don't know how I will cope if it takes weeks and weeks to come.

 

[lymbo]

can u share your reasons for ctb?

 

[Bye_Bye]

Mental illness going on since I was 13, now I am 23. Probably stems from childhood trauma. Been diagnosed with BPD and depression, have therapy and meds but nothing helps.

My parents kicked me out last summer for attempting, before that I split from my partner and had to leave my children with him.

I haven't worked in years and have no friends. Sometimes I don't even feel real. I wake up and feel so disappointed for another day just lying in bed waiting to be tired again. I've stopped taking my meds for my hypothyroidism in the hopes I will sleep more whilst I wait for the SN to come.

 

[lymbo]

what kynd of parents would kyck you out for thys??

 

[garbageguy]

Mental illness going on since I was 13, now I am 23. Probably stems from childhood trauma. Been diagnosed with BPD and depression, have therapy and meds but nothing helps.

My parents kicked me out last summer for attempting, before that I split from my partner and had to leave my children with him.

I haven't worked in years and have no friends. Sometimes I don't even feel real. I wake up and feel so disappointed for another day just lying in bed waiting to be tired again. I've stopped taking my meds for my hypothyroidism in the hopes I will sleep more whilst I wait for the SN to come.

You're in my prayers, I would give you a big hug if I could right now.

 

[Bye_Bye]

My parents try to help me, thats why I was living there. But I have younger siblings and they said it was too much for them to handle. I've always been the extra. The burden, as cliche as that is.

Feels like its always like this, it will be better when I am gone. I wish I had the guts to just do something now. But don't want to fail again. Aslong as I wait fot the SN, I should succeed.

Thanks, garbageguy. It's hard feeling outside of society, watching it all go by. But I can see on here that other people feel this way.