Venting I'm tired of waiting

[eternalflame]

I have a method (partial hanging), i don't think i can perfect it anymore. The only things i need are time and will and they don't seem to come together. Ican't stand being by myself with no tv or laptop. thoughts are just draining me and i have to wait till midnight to try so i'm tired by then. I'm getting close to my breaking point and i don't want to be put in hospital or prison beacause of any fights i might get into. I'm losing my mask of being average, like i need to get into panic mode to kill myself but i need also to think straight.

 

[FuneralCry]

I know that it is hard to carry on when you are so tired and I understand the feeling of being desperate to leave. Suicide really is so difficult after all and I wish that it is easier to leave this world. I hope that you find relief from your suffering. Best wishes.

 

[eternalflame]

Thank you.

 

[london3]

I have a method (partial hanging), i don't think i can perfect it anymore. The only things i need are time and will and they don't seem to come together. Ican't stand being by myself with no tv or laptop. thoughts are just draining me and i have to wait till midnight to try so i'm tired by then. I'm getting close to my breaking point and i don't want to be put in hospital or prison beacause of any fights i might get into. I'm losing my mask of being average, like i need to get into panic mode to kill myself but i need also to think straight.

Really sorry for your stress and hope you find peace soon. Have you thought about using medicine like Diazepam or Propranolol to stay relaxed?

 

[eternalflame]

Thank you but i'm actually afraid of taking meds or alcohol so i won't get loose tongue and say too much. Family barely tolerates me now when i'm quiet nad passive.