I'm tired of my dad not fucking loving me

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

All he does is pay bills, works, cooks and cleans occasionally, basically just puts a roof over our heads. Thats it
But he doesn't understand my mental health and woudlnt care to know. He thinks he's living with a happy daughter not knowing that she wants to hurt him and berate him for his failures
Failures of being. horrible role model for my brother and causing their one and off abusive relationship. Not having left my mom when she was abusing us etc. And I cant tell him anything cause he'll slap the Bible over my head. Argh I hate him!

 

[Dcap1]

I'm sorry that you didn't have the support that you deserved. As a father, my daughter never felt that I was there for her. I worked 70 plus hours a week and was usually exhausted afterwards. I payed for her cars, college, apartments, and to this day she lives in a house that I paid for, yet I'm not welcomed to visit. I never abused her in any way, but she disowned me for not being closer in our relationship. She is partially right and I've struggled with anxiety and depression for most of my life. We did have many great times together but also had times that we just didn't understand each other. i was not the father or person that i wanted to be and In no way am I comparing myself to your dad. Life is just very difficult to understand when constantly battling the demons inside your mind. I hope that you can find a way to get through to him and make him see how you feel.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Your dad reminds me of those people who love you with the condition that you agree with all of their religious, political, or any other kind of beliefs they have, but if you don't, they will bash you over the head with it until you do, which would make you lovable to them. He sounds like such a toxic person and I wish you could get away from him.

 

[Good4Nothing]

My dad's the same way. He hates me because he doesn't understand me. I'm sensitive and emotional, and that's not "manly". I'm convinced my bipolar and BPD are a direct result of his constant mind-fuckery when I was a kid. He never cared to try to understand me. He was right and I was wrong, and that's that. I truly despise him.

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

Your dad reminds me of those people who love you with the condition that you agree with all of their religious, political, or any other kind of beliefs they have, but if you don't, they will bash you over the head with it until you do, which would make you lovable to them. He sounds like such a toxic person and I wish you could get away from him.

Funnily enough I asked my dad one day what he'd do if I was gay (im not). He said he wouldnt like it as hes christian, but that im still his daughter and he'd love me the same.

 

[deleted]

the only thing my dad does is drink and curse me

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

I'm sorry that you didn't have the support that you deserved. As a father, my daughter never felt that I was there for her. I worked 70 plus hours a week and was usually exhausted afterwards. I payed for her cars, college, apartments, and to this day she lives in a house that I paid for, yet I'm not welcomed to visit. I never abused her in any way, but she disowned me for not being closer in our relationship. She is partially right and I've struggled with anxiety and depression for most of my life. We did have many great times together but also had times that we just didn't understand each other. i was not the father or person that i wanted to be and In no way am I comparing myself to your dad. Life is just very difficult to understand when constantly battling the demons inside your mind. I hope that you can find a way to get through to him and make him see how you feel.

Thank you for the heartfelt response. Tbh me and my dad were close when I was younger. Times where he was off from work he'd spend time playing with me. But I am now suffering horrible mental health issues and I dont think he'd understand me if I told him anything

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Funnily enough I asked my dad one day what he'd do if I was gay (im not). He said he wouldnt like it as hes christian, but that im still his daughter and he'd love me the same.

Do you think he would though? It would be cool if that was the case, but sometimes people say that when in reality, they love the person that they wish you were instead. When that happens, they seem to use abusive tactics to try to force you to become the person they want you to be, which shows that they really love themselves more than the other person.

 

[Dcap1]

Thank you for the heartfelt response. Tbh me and my dad were close when I was younger. Times where he was off from work he'd spend time playing with me. But I am now suffering horrible mental health issues and I dont think he'd understand me if I told him anything

He might not, but only you know how you're feeling. if he can't understand it, at least you tried to tell him how you feel and what you need (unconditional support and love)
I should've told my daughter about my struggles more often. It's too late for me now and what do you really have to lose?

 

[Meditation guide]

he'd love me the same.

My dad never mentioned that he loved me at all. At least he wasn't a Bible thumper.

 

[NeverGrowUp]

My dad's the same way. He hates me because he doesn't understand me. I'm sensitive and emotional, and that's not "manly". I'm convinced my bipolar and BPD are a direct result of his constant mind-fuckery when I was a kid. He never cared to try to understand me. He was right and I was wrong, and that's that. I truly despise him.

Wow I have BPD and bipolar too and my father acted the same way, I've recently come to the same conclusion you have. It's really shitty to realize it's probably a cycle thats been passed down from father to son throughout generations. Just our luck.

 

[Red]

I wish people would take parental responsibility more seriously
Shitty parents taint your world views so thoroughly n it takes soooo long to break out from it n work out way actual normal is