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Harry Callahan
Feb 12, 2023
250
i don't know why i clinging on to these pathetic glimmers of "hope". whenever i see even the slightest bit of possible improvement, i get so excited and start planning out some future that i know won't be possible. then, something comes in to ruin everything and i'm left feeling like an idiot.
even if one of these improvements pulls through, it doesn't change anything. one aspect of my life improving means nothing. every other unfixable problem remains. i just can't live, i wasn't meant for it.

i'm so crushed, i don't know how to stop being delusionally hopeful at these nonexistent signs. i always end up feeling so much worse.
 
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