I'm so tired go I just want out of here

[Freedent]

I just want to CTB. I'm extremely mentally ill but I currently don't have any appointment with any sort of psychologist or psychiatrist. I'm off my meds. The psychiatric facility that was supposed to take me in and help me can't because apparently another facility is already treating me and is supposed to transfer them my file. Problem is that facility can't transfer the file because they don't have a file on me so they can't transfer it. So my only hope to see someone is hopitalization ! Except my insurance doesn't cover the only hospital that I trust. So if I do get hospitalized, I'll get sent to the public ward, where I got sexually assaulted multiple times, and the doctors are awfully and the nurses treat us like shit ; I've been to a ton of different hospital and this one is genuinely the worst ! Except I HAVE to go to this one because that's the law ! LOL ! So I'm just sitting there in my dad's appartment, dad who made me remove 19 stitches I had on myself with my scissors because he didn't want to pay a nurse. My dad who doesn't give me enough money for food. And even though I'm 20, I can't work because I'm disabled due to my chronic mental illnesses ! So I'm just fucking staying ! Everywhere I go or have the possibility to go, it's worse and worse and worse. No one fucking cares. And I just want to die, it's all I fucking ask for, I just want to die but OF COURSE it has to be complicated and take YEARS to find a suitable way to do it. I'm literally begging whichever fucked up God there is to stop making my life a living hell. I don't want anything. I just want assisted suicide to be legal. But of course it isn't

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand that it is hard to carry on when you are suffering so much. It can be dreadful when things just get worse. This life really can be a nightmare. More than anything I wish I could just pass away peacefully as well. I'm sorry you are going through this. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.