I’m so alone

[Martyn]

I have tried so hard to make life work but I can't I'm so sad I want to be dead I hate life

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

What's not working in your life?

 

[Squiddy]

I know how you feel. I'm in group therapy and so far, nothing is helping. I'm starting to lose hope

 

[Crushed_Innocence]

I hear you, I'm in the same boat..although I am actively working on my own suicide plan. Being alone can be the worst human experience because we are by nature social, but also by nature selfish as we are driven to survive so overall IMO the human race is a nasty species, totally screwed up & yes its hard to make life work.... in a way that is reasonably satisfying, meeting our most basic emotional and physical needs. Life is a gamble and a lottery ... sure people will say that we need to "make the best of the hand we are dealt" and for many.... making the best is ending needless suffering by suicide. I'm so sorry you are hurting.... I hope you find a way to find relief that your okay with....

 

[Roma F.]

I have tried so hard to make life work but I can't I'm so sad I want to be dead I hate life

I feel the same. I am listening to Michael Dorman's song called "by the Way? from Amazon Primes Patriot" show. One of the lines say: "I would trade my soul for anyone on the train." I see people in the news, on the streets, on the internet, and think, and I know it is not rational, but I think, I would rather be them then me. I have suffered total financial ruin from the COVID virus. I run a small business, and have not heard back from the SBA on the PPP program or their other programs. Every day, more debt. I really feel like a failure in life. On top of that, I have depression. A song that does give me hope is REM's everybody hurts.
I also want to add that I have never felt part of this world. Its like a play--just watching the characters on stage.

 

[Yank]

Thinng should be fine. Dont leave hope.. its the most essential part of life hope

 

[SleeplessSoul]

Is there anything you want to talk about?

 

[sadbunny]

Hey me too

 

[Donk]

Thinng should be fine.

how did you come up with that conclusion without knowing op's situation?

 

[Martyn]

Thank you all for replying this is like a family this site . I have been in and out of mental health hospital for years in the uk they never helped I think it's all a waste of time I tried so hard to enjoy life but always something would push me back I have bpd so I can't even keep a relationship everyone treats me like a baby even though I'm 30 nobody understands how I struggle to live . I've giving life every opportunity to make me want to stay and it's always failed now it's my time to go even though I don't really want to life is draining

 

[xalltoowell]

Thank you all for replying this is like a family this site . I have been in and out of mental health hospital for years in the uk they never helped I think it's all a waste of time I tried so hard to enjoy life but always something would push me back I have bpd so I can't even keep a relationship everyone treats me like a baby even though I'm 30 nobody understands how I struggle to live . I've giving life every opportunity to make me want to stay and it's always failed now it's my time to go even though I don't really want to life is draining

Are we the same person?
Mental health hospitals don't do much for us with BPD. I put my foot down with therapists and psychiatrists who try to threaten sending me back because I tell them it will literally do more harm than good.
It's hard having a debilitating mental illness that can seem invisible from the outside. People don't take us seriously.
I feel for you, and there are people here who will be there for you when it gets too much!

 

[Yank]

how did you come up with that conclusion without knowing op's situation?

Evry1 hs prob n evn i am walking on fire evry sec, bt as human we shld always have hope and do things to make it wrk and try to make things fine and if anyone wants to share i am always here to hear and help.

 

[Bct]

I feel the same, man. I feel I don't have anyone who are close to me. It's really sad to know your experiences in the hospitals weren't going well. Must be really exhausting.

 

[blemor]

i too have lost hope, i'm really sorry for you ...

 

[BPD Barbie]

A lot of us feel the same way, I guess there is some comfort in knowing you're not alone in it

 

[SipSop]

I have tried so hard to make life work but I can't I'm so sad I want to be dead I hate life

Sorry my friend, I feel you. I can relate. I feel the same.

 

[Tintypographer]

I cometely understand you! Somehow you just keep hoping something won't spin out of control and it always does.

 

[Donk]

Evry1 hs prob n evn i am walking on fire evry sec, bt as human we shld always have hope and do things to make it wrk and try to make things fine and if anyone wants to share i am always here to hear and help.

of course everyone had hope at some point in their lives. but to say we should ALWAYS have hope is utterly nonsense. i believe everyone should exhaust all their options before they consider ctb. many of us has tried different coping methods, medications and therapy and it doesnt work. thinking that something will eventually fall out of the sky and solve all out problems is a naive way of thinking. some of us has accept the fact that we were dealt a bad hand and life isnt for us. you are not helping anyone by giving them false hope and prolonging another's suffering. i appreciate that you are trying to assist others. but to say everyone should ALWAYS have hope is some "pro life" bullshit.