I'm only an ornament toy

[HillWhereIWillRest]

I hate my family! My mother brought me into this world to be her toy, to spend on me her frustrations and fears. I could never be myself, I was always threatened, criticized, invalidated.
My father is very aggressive and unstable. Both are scandalous.
With my deteriorating health, I cannot live anywhere else. I need lots and lots of medicine to survive.
I no longer want to continue fighting these diseases that have taken over my body. My psychological is ruined.

My mother is a ridiculous pro-lifer! She says she prefers me to live in pain than to rest when I die. She says that I must remember that there are people in worse situations, that I must pray, that I need faith... She also says that even if I lose my vision, lose my legs, lose my kidneys, she will keep me alive close to her. I really am her puppet.

I only want to rest! My body and mind are a prison! Nobody deserves to live vegetating unhappy and suffering!

 

[Onomotopoeia]

The life is precious mantra is really tiring.

it seems like such a ridiculous place to start from. We put animals down all the time and they cant even tell us they have had enough.

Your voice is only yours when it's a popular opinion, otherwise you are sick.

I'm sorry you are struggling and wish I had something to offer, but you have plenty of empty platitudes from family so I will only offer that I hear you and wish you some comfort in any way you might find it.

 

[falloutcarter13]

I can understand how you feel...even though I don't have any physical conditions, I feel much the same. When people tell me how precious life is, I want to scream in their face "YOUR life! You only know what its like to be you, stop telling me what its like to be me or what I *should* be like!" Its such a frustrating thing to hear, because when you make up your mind about this personal choice, all that does is make a hard process even harder on you. I hope you find peace, unconditional love, and acceptance no matter what happens. ((hug))

 

[SoIntoYou]

Lol, if life were precious, these religious conservatives would be paying more attention to the hospitals and schools being bombed in the middle east, or the genocide of Palestine, all supported by the US. I love it. Short attention spans.

I hate my family! My mother brought me into this world to be her toy, to spend on me her frustrations and fears. I could never be myself, I was always threatened, criticized, invalidated.
My father is very aggressive and unstable. Both are scandalous.
With my deteriorating health, I cannot live anywhere else. I need lots and lots of medicine to survive.
I no longer want to continue fighting these diseases that have taken over my body. My psychological is ruined.

My mother is a ridiculous pro-lifer! She says she prefers me to live in pain than to rest when I die. She says that I must remember that there are people in worse situations, that I must pray, that I need faith... She also says that even if I lose my vision, lose my legs, lose my kidneys, she will keep me alive close to her. I really am her puppet.

I only want to rest! My body and mind are a prison! Nobody deserves to live vegetating unhappy and suffering!

Girl, I feel for you. If I could, I'd come by and put you down peacefully myself.

 

[Nymph]

Sorry you're going thought that, that is absolutely horrible.

 

[deleted]

I hate my family! My mother brought me into this world to be her toy, to spend on me her frustrations and fears. I could never be myself, I was always threatened, criticized, invalidated.
My father is very aggressive and unstable. Both are scandalous.
With my deteriorating health, I cannot live anywhere else. I need lots and lots of medicine to survive.
I no longer want to continue fighting these diseases that have taken over my body. My psychological is ruined.

My mother is a ridiculous pro-lifer! She says she prefers me to live in pain than to rest when I die. She says that I must remember that there are people in worse situations, that I must pray, that I need faith... She also says that even if I lose my vision, lose my legs, lose my kidneys, she will keep me alive close to her. I really am her puppet.

I only want to rest! My body and mind are a prison! Nobody deserves to live vegetating unhappy and suffering!

I am impressed by how identical our families are, I really am sorry for you for being born to two monsters, sometimes I think that if I had been changed in the maternity For another family I would be totally different
I can't imagine a way to get away from it .... When I need them to live, I'd rather die than have to live with these people