Venting i’m not happy when i should be

[foolatum]

for some reason, i've been depressed since 6th grade, and the only reason i can of as to why is because it runs in the family. but despite all this, i'm on antidepressants, i currently take 20mg of prozac, and i'm going to therapy every week. my life isn't that bad, aside from my parents being divorced, and my father borderline neglecting me when i'm at his house, but that's about it. i have friends that i talk with almost everyday, and as it looks, i have no reason to be depressed. so i don't understand why i can't just be happy. why do i constantly have thoughts of killing myself when there are people out there who are living a worse life than me? why am i so depressed for literally no reason? it's so pathetic

 

[v4r0]

I feel like lots of people in here will relate to the feeling of feeling like dog shit when you logically shouldn't. Just basic existence comes with a lot of pain and some people feel it deeper than others( some even lie about it). If you're able I'd say to not be mean to yourself about your existence being painful, maybe think about what parts aren't painful and actually enjoyable and what it is that you feel like sticking by a little longer is worth for over absolute nothingness. Best wishes mate

 

[foolatum]

thank you for the advice ^_^

 

[v4r0]

thank you for the advice ^_^

No problem mate. I'm sure theres lots of people here to hear you out and offer solace and understanding so I hope you find a nice place to put your honest thoughts here.

 

[MyMomWasMyLife]

for some reason, i've been depressed since 6th grade, and the only reason i can of as to why is because it runs in the family. but despite all this, i'm on antidepressants, i currently take 20mg of prozac, and i'm going to therapy every week. my life isn't that bad, aside from my parents being divorced, and my father borderline neglecting me when i'm at his house, but that's about it. i have friends that i talk with almost everyday, and as it looks, i have no reason to be depressed. so i don't understand why i can't just be happy. why do i constantly have thoughts of killing myself when there are people out there who are living a worse life than me? why am i so depressed for literally no reason? it's so pathetic

Have you verbalized these exact thoughts to your therapist?

 

[ThroughTheLight]

If you say it runs in the family, that makes a lot of sense. Some people have a high genetic susceptibility to mental illness, so a trigger such as stress from your parents' divorce and your dad's neglect of you can definitely contribute to causing a mental disorder. I think I also have a high genetic susceptibility to depression, so I get where you're coming from. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that other people have it worse, so you shouldn't be sad. By that logic, only the saddest person in the world has a reason to be sad. There are also people a lot happier than you, so by that logic, you also shouldn't have a reason to be happy. Anyway, I wish you the best.

 

[foolatum]

Have you verbalized these exact thoughts to your therapist?

no, i haven't been talking to my therapist about my personal life much because we've been trying to focus on quieting down my ocd thoughts..

If you say it runs in the family, that makes a lot of sense. Some people have a high genetic susceptibility to mental illness, so a trigger such as stress from your parents' divorce and your dad's neglect of you can definitely contribute to causing a mental disorder. I think I also have a high genetic susceptibility to depression, so I get where you're coming from. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that other people have it worse, so you shouldn't be sad. By that logic, only the saddest person in the world has a reason to be sad. There are also people a lot happier than you, so by that logic, you also shouldn't have a reason to be happy. Anyway, I wish you the best.

thank you for that last piece of advice, it really resonates with me ^_^

 

[GoneTomorrow]

I feel this deeply. Without wanting to get too rhetorical about it, I feel as though it relates to the fallacy of "two wrongs don't make it right", or simply put, that a situation worse than yours doesn't necessarily make yours better. You are not pathetic for feeling this way, your feelings are valid and just going to therapy every week and taking your medication shows that you are trying to make things better for yourself. And as it has just been said, there is a genetical susceptibility to mental illnesses, which you unfortunately have no control over, so there's no need to feel guilty about that - even though it's obviously easier said than done. That being said, I hope that things will get better for you, I truly do.

 

[foolatum]

I feel this deeply. Without wanting to get too rhetorical about it, I feel as though it relates to the fallacy of "two wrongs don't make it right", or simply put, that a situation worse than yours doesn't necessarily make yours better. You are not pathetic for feeling this way, your feelings are valid and just going to therapy every week and taking your medication shows that you are trying to make things better for yourself. And as it has just been said, there is a genetical susceptibility to mental illnesses, which you unfortunately have no control over, so there's no need to feel guilty about that - even though it's obviously easier said than done. That being said, I hope that things will get better for you, I truly do.

thank you <3 ^_^

 

[MyMomWasMyLife]

no, i haven't been talking to my therapist about my personal life much because we've been trying to focus on quieting down my ocd thoughts.

I really think you should verbalize these things to them as clearly as possible. You're already there in therapy, so you might as well. Even if you have to write down your original post and read it to them, because you stated your feelings very well in it, being honest about your feelings might be a help.

 

[foolatum]

yes, you have a good point. i think i'm going to do what you said and read this post to her at our next session, thank you ^_^