Discussion I'm not exactly a "suicidal" person, but suicide is my only option. Anyone else in the same boat?

[joaosembraco12]

My story is long and full of nuances, twists and turns and everything else. But for the record, I think most people here suffer from depression and want to kill themselves, but that's not the case with me. It's not an ordinary, happy life, but it's tolerable, I don't have episodes of extreme sadness or anything. I'm incel and neet, I have autism level 2, I've tried to work and have a normal life, but I couldn't, it's extremely difficult and anguishing for me, not only because of the inability to work, but it's not worth it, my life is too bad, lonely, sad and monotonous to "make an effort" and have commitments, I don't know if anyone has been through this, but I have no motivation to have a common wageslave life. I have no technical or intellectual skills (maybe I do, but nothing of market value) and I'm worthless, with a low IQ and no future. Anyway, what has made my life " tolerable " ( in many quotation marks) is isolating myself to deal with the suffering, I stay at home all day on the internet, sometimes I do some hobbies, I eat fast food and other junk food, I smoke... I've given up on living, I'm a walking dead person, waiting to kill myself. I don't know what I'm going to do when my parents die, I'm thinking of killing myself, they're old and they're supporting me with their retirement. I don't know what to do. I know I just sounded like a bum in the story, but I swear, I promise you that I tried to socialize, to be happy, to date, to work, but the depression always consumed me. I'm afraid I won't have the courage when the time comes.

 

[J&L383]

I'm sorry life has not been kind to you. I know you feel worthless and without a future. But just reading your words helped me feel a little bit more connected to someone, despite having never met you. And for at least that reason you do have value and worth. Thank you for sharing. We are all in this mess together,.

 

[BlooBerryBanjo3000]

I don't know if anyone has been through this, but I have no motivation to have a common wageslave life.

Me either. Never have, never will. It's my main reason for committing suicide.

 

[LigottiIsRight]

I also lack the motivation to live a regular wage-slave life, and I'm at peace with it most of the times. I simply find extremely difficult to tolerate any obligation, and I can't find reasons compelling enough to try to overcome it and adapt to this life.

 

[quietwoods]

I feel a decent bit of what you said. I am autistic and struggle with a job, though I've managed to keep one down. This is getting tougher though as my mind is starting to slip.

The people who are extremely depressed are just the vocal majority. There are a number of other people here that want to CTB due to other reasons, like health or just being tired of life. I'm in that second camp.

 

[darksouls]

I am so sorry for your situation

send you love

 

[idiotmother]

I relate a lot to what you said. Also dependent on parent and feel useless. Hold on to those things that bring you joy; can you feel joy or just slightly less sad when you're doing hobbies?. You're not a bum for not being able to live up to societal expectations, but I also feel the same about myself. I wish life wasn't so complicated like this.