Venting I'm not doing it today

[RoyalSapphire]

Today was supossed to be the day I ctb, but I saw my ex today(which I still have a close friendship and everything is ok) cause we had to buy some food and other stuff for our dog and we talked, we talked a lot and she doesn't know about my plans but still, I think she saved me, at least for today. I was feeling so shitty this last two weeks between not seeing anyone and panic attacks and a shit ton of anxiety and some family shit hitting the fan that today was supossed to be the final day, I prepared the final letters and all the stuff for the people i was leaving behind i even took the meto and everything(im following a 48 hrs regime).
idk where im heading with this i just wanted to say that she saved me today, and i obviously cant tell her. and now i can go and see my friends today even tho my anxiety is over the roof still. who knows what is gonna happen tomorrow or the next day idk im just not doing it today.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like you have been through a lot. Living really is tiring. I wish you the best no matter what you decide to do.

 

[NextSummer]

If you don't want to tell your friend that she saved your life, give her a little present and say thank you nevertheless. You don't need to tell a reason to give a present - you just say you felt like it. You will feel better then.