elzo5678
Member
- Oct 6, 2020
- 61
Just 3 weeks ago I wouldn't have believed you if you'd told me that today I would be feeling happy. I was stuck in my depression, going through a breakup, struggling a lot with my BPD symptoms and on medication that wasn't working. Professionals weren't listening to me and I was beyond hope. I attempted hanging then ordered SN (which, once it arrives, I will probably dispose of). I was in total dispair. I didnt even want to get better. I just didn't care. I wasn't looking after myself, engaging in my bulimia to distract myself from the pain of my existence. I didn't think it would ever get better. But it did! What made it all turn around was a week long hypomanic episode in which I began to exercise again (due to me being so energetic) and eat well. When I fell back into depression, however, I kept on with those habits and consequently didn't dip as low as I have before. I've kept up with working out, eating to nourish myself and doing more social things. I've started listening to more upbeat music instead of my usual depressing playlists. I WANT TO GET BETTER! That feels so amazing to finally say. I am currently struggling a lot with mood swings and have low mood dips regularly. It's tiring and difficult but I want to work on it. I've started an antipsychotic and hole it will help me. I'm so so proud of myself for getting out of the deepest hole I've ever been in. On the 6th of January this year, I attempted hanging with the most desperation and determination I could. I'm so glad I gave up trying. I'm so glad I failed. I hope more of you reading this will be able to say the same one day soon. It honestly does get better.
