trying ungracefully
Experienced
- Jun 11, 2025
- 262
I don't work because of really bad social anxiety and general anxiety. I want to so I am working towards it because I want to be independent and not rely on anyone like I need to right now.
So the next step with me is volunteering but I don't know if I am ready like I was originally thinking I was. When I was looking I got the anxiety wave in my body and then I got really nauseous. It passed it was just a lot at once.
I know I can take the bus and go places now but when it comes to something that I can't just cancel if I need to or if it's something I am relied on for it makes things a lot harder. I was going out with my grandma and I go out with her often and hang out with her. The last time I woke up with so much anxiety and I felt it throughout my body. With my grandma I never cancel because she gets excited to see me and I don't want to let her down because of my anxiety.
I know I can do this it is just that my body stops me from doing things because of the anxiety I feel. It is a lot easier to not do the thing that gives you anxiety instead of doing the hard thing. I've been slacking on my day time gabapentin so I am going to start taking it again to see if that helps it. It's just so hard to reason with my mind that things can be okay, safe, and fun if I just try.
So the next step with me is volunteering but I don't know if I am ready like I was originally thinking I was. When I was looking I got the anxiety wave in my body and then I got really nauseous. It passed it was just a lot at once.
I know I can take the bus and go places now but when it comes to something that I can't just cancel if I need to or if it's something I am relied on for it makes things a lot harder. I was going out with my grandma and I go out with her often and hang out with her. The last time I woke up with so much anxiety and I felt it throughout my body. With my grandma I never cancel because she gets excited to see me and I don't want to let her down because of my anxiety.
I know I can do this it is just that my body stops me from doing things because of the anxiety I feel. It is a lot easier to not do the thing that gives you anxiety instead of doing the hard thing. I've been slacking on my day time gabapentin so I am going to start taking it again to see if that helps it. It's just so hard to reason with my mind that things can be okay, safe, and fun if I just try.