after 30 years of my life not getting better and constantly being suicidal... im just done. I've attempted in the past and always either failed or was "saved".... I tried partial suspension hanging many times back in 2014. only ONE TIME was i able to pass out, but obviously I was not successful. I woke back up. I was using a scarf. I dont remember a lot of the stuff I learned from my research back then. I have an indoor staircase with a railing at the top and I live alone. I already have neck issues. I had neck surgery last year. what else can I use besides a rope becauseI'm not wanting rope burn... and what knots work best... I feel like a noob again since its been six years. or any other methods that won't make me vomit? I have a super weak stomach so I dont think I could do SN. also I dont have much money because I am disabled
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