Venting Im having a horrible time.

[Busridin'26]

As per title. I am like very very meh. Hard to eat. I still do.
Insomnia rages 1on but I still sleep.

This place (where I am living) is making me go fuckin crazy. I have done everything I am able to to cope here. I am so overstimulated.

Luckily I should be moving in a week or so. Finally thinned out the details.

Lacking energy inside like..... ugh just tired.

IT IS HARD HERE. i am struggling so much. Im tired of talking about it. I cope/try to relax etc etc. Yeah i guess I get relief but the only relief is leaving.


Knowing my worth and having to live below it aint it for me anymore....

Struggling so much but im so close to being alone. Eh. Ugh
All my life I've been comtrolled and watched over. Everytime i tried to break away I went through more abuse.

Now I am away from.my abusers and just trying to find my own grounding with life. Always having to adjust SO MUCH for othee people..

I am burnt out. I have kept as calm as I can BUT I AM TIRED OF HERE. No privacy. No control. I cannot deal. It just triggers suicidality even more.

I hate being looked at and discusses multiple times every fucking day. I am sick of it.

 

[Makko]

Relate. I've discovered that having access to privacy and personal space is the bedrock of mental stability. There's no way to rest and recuperate if you're stuck involuntarily dealing with people around the clock.

 

[Busridin'26]

Like I wish i could just "get over it" but i cant just "get over" where I live. I am actually so so so so soooo sick of having habitual issues. How it all started bc my family is shit but then I get this constant projection in life of "am I worthy for housing" "am i doing what i need for this housing" ALWAYS HAVING TO BE SOMETHING.

It isnt fucking fair. Never experienced 1the basic human thing/need of just even being myself or even being able to learn who I am.

I am tired. This place(among most mental heath residences) is shit. It does nothing for me. Nothing for my mental health.

 

[WornOutLife]

Sorry to hear you're going through such a hard time.

The good part, as you said, is that you're moving soon. I bet that will really help!

Send you hugs and good vibes!

Take care!