I'm going to ctb with N from C (part 2)

[no.place]

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/im-going-to-ctb-this-weekend-with-n-from-c.42272/#post-771539

Just took a klonopin to not suffer the moment I'm living. Took some meto.. In some hours I'm going to eat something light, take 30mg more and do it.

Thanks for everything guys.

 

[rhiino]

I hope you feel good in your last moments and that it will be peaceful.

 

[no.place]

I hope you feel good in your last moments and that it will be peaceful.

I'm not. It feels awful. In an hour it will all be the end I hope

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

Im sorry it came to this. I just wish you lots of luck and peace, in no matter what you decide to do. Rest well

 

[rikamonie]

so sorry i wasnt here earlier to say this, youre in my thoughts i hope you have a peaceful transition

 

[no.place]

Failed again.. My mother had a panic attack and I couldn't do it. I'm sick of it

 

[kinzokukae]

Failed again.. My mother had a panic attack and I couldn't do it. I'm sick of it

sorry to hear that /: good luck

 

[no.place]

sorry to hear that /: good luck

I'll do it when she's not around

 

[Living sucks]

Stop involving your mother .. that's too much for her .., and don't ctb impulsively bcuz of someone else. This is the final decision ever

 

[AlreadyGone]

It sounds like you are alerting your mother of your plans to ctb. I do not understand how she keeps finding out your plans whenever you are about to go through with it.

 

[Elbarado]

are you still here? :(

 

[no.place]

It sounds like you are alerting your mother of your plans to ctb. I do not understand how she keeps finding out your plans whenever you are about to go through with it.

I live with her and i have autism, so she's been aware about me all my life.. And I get caught also because I need connection and I tried to get in touch with her and she heard my voice... She knew everything.
But anyway I got sick of all this honestly. Living a miserable life of suffering, tears, toxicity, waiting with pain to end it, survival instincts.. This is too much.
I'm sorry for bother you all, I'm sorry for everything but I chose once again to just take my life in my hands and stop being a victim. It's too painful and it is way less painful to just keep on living and learning to cope instead of getting this much miserable and bringing into that everybody I love. I'm sorry but I quit.

Thanks for everybody here who got by my side.. I was sure 1000% that this was gonna be the end and I did everything for that. But that's life and I'll go through anyway.
I'm sorry, I choose life.

Goodbye.

 

[rhiino]

You don't have to be sorry to choose life. I wish you good luck.