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H

hiddenbpd

✌🏼
Oct 19, 2022
201
This is likely not the place for such information, however I did not feel safe to write it anywhere else so here I am. I apologize if this doesn't belong, but I'm so lost.
I am the worst person I know (and feel free to roast me); I trusted someone too much and became attached to the care they brought to me when I was in a really dark hole. I felt important and as if my life might have been worth living because of their attention. However, this was at the same time I was engaged to someone else, so I'm guilty of infidelity. I came to my senses with overwhelming shame, and cut all nonplatonic contact with the person I was cheating with.
Now, the person whom I trusted is threatening to send the inappropriate photos I sent them to my fiance in effort to break off the engagement. I'm struggling about whether to tell my fiance and face the consequences, hope the photos don't get sent, or take my life.
I am most definitely in the wrong. I don't deserve to have a partner when this is how I acted. I have always defaulted to suicide during tough times in my life before, so obviously that's back even stronger than before. I want this nightmare to be over. I need to take myself out and protect others from me. I need to die.
 
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Ashu

Ashu

novelist, sanskritist, Canadian living in India
Nov 13, 2021
789
This is likely not the place for such information, however I did not feel safe to write it anywhere else so here I am. I apologize if this doesn't belong, but I'm so lost.
I am the worst person I know (and feel free to roast me); I trusted someone too much and became attached to the care they brought to me when I was in a really dark hole. I felt important and as if my life might have been worth living because of their attention. However, this was at the same time I was engaged to someone else, so I'm guilty of infidelity. I came to my senses with overwhelming shame, and cut all nonplatonic contact with the person I was cheating with.
Now, the person whom I trusted is threatening to send the inappropriate photos I sent them to my fiance in effort to break off the engagement. I'm struggling about whether to tell my fiance and face the consequences, hope the photos don't get sent, or take my life.
I am most definitely in the wrong. I don't deserve to have a partner when this is how I acted. I have always defaulted to suicide during tough times in my life before, so obviously that's back even stronger than before. I want this nightmare to be over. I need to take myself out and protect others from me. I need to die.
Oh no, Hidden, I'm so sorry I missed this at the time, I didn't realize you were still publicly active here so I had stopped looking for your messages.
 
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