dandan
One more attempt on life.
- Feb 18, 2019
- 1,298
Thanks to hormones , testosterone, and steroids, dianabol, plus an endocrinologist and regular blood tests, I'm definitely out of depression and the hell I was in a year and almost two months ago. I still have my N in the fridge.
I'm alright, I need to be better... How can I improve my current situation? Commitment, responsibility, action with a sense of humor.
And with that I could find a girl, have sex which would increase my hormone levels, and satisfy my natural heart and human desires.
And I would commit to get better at my job, and also to continue the almost daily medical prescribed exercise plan, I'm fit now, I was a 110lb scrawny thin man, now I'm fit , not bad, I'm strong, stronger than many but still small in size, I am not muscled bulked up, but I look and feel athletic.
If I could commit , and all of the above I could start my own side business hustling for my own project, which is something that might work and if it didn't I would've learn something and go to the next thing. I can't skip trying my idea for anything else, I should commit and start soon. But I've been procrastinating, yes there's a lot to do but I've already done more than half of what's necessary, maybe even a 85% of them all things. Still I'm procrastinating close to having it
I'm 38 years old, I just got credit for a cheap old house which some girls rather not visit, but I have a nice location, and plans to improve it, for myself not for any girl, well maybe for 1, that I still don't know or she whi is reluctant but interested in me.
I'm thankful for a member her suggesting testosterone and dianabol, I'm thankful that I found a doctor who doesn't speak nonsense but just looks at blood results.
I'm thankful I'm out of therapy and focused, even when I procrastinate about what I care the most. A second income.
I'm thankful I'm exercising and that's something I could never regret.
Even when my life has totally changed from the time I came here and attempted the bag over my head with Nitrogen, a lot better from when I bought cyanide and then N. I'm not depressed anymore. I've spent 20 years depressed with medications and drug abuse. I'm alright today if I compare myself to the old me.
Even though I know I can be above and be on the path to a fuller life. It's not about reaching my goals, it's about the path of pursuing then without hesitation, it's about walking the path to a better life, not reaching it. It's about being who I say I can be. It about acting and stepping forward, and that's what it's been all about.
I'm far from perfect, I still have some self confidence issues, I spent 20 years with doctors so cut me some slack, I cut some slack myself , but I can not dwell on that... Or on so many others mistakes from the past. I've got to accept my current self and situation and build a life through action and I need to understand I will not find answers thinking, but doing , not evading responsibility waiting to feel ready.
That's it! I am waiting to FEEL ready LOL. That day may never come!! I've got to do what I can even if I'm not ready? Really? It does makes sense!!! Writing sometimes brings answers to myself.
I'm alright, I need to be better... How can I improve my current situation? Commitment, responsibility, action with a sense of humor.
And with that I could find a girl, have sex which would increase my hormone levels, and satisfy my natural heart and human desires.
And I would commit to get better at my job, and also to continue the almost daily medical prescribed exercise plan, I'm fit now, I was a 110lb scrawny thin man, now I'm fit , not bad, I'm strong, stronger than many but still small in size, I am not muscled bulked up, but I look and feel athletic.
If I could commit , and all of the above I could start my own side business hustling for my own project, which is something that might work and if it didn't I would've learn something and go to the next thing. I can't skip trying my idea for anything else, I should commit and start soon. But I've been procrastinating, yes there's a lot to do but I've already done more than half of what's necessary, maybe even a 85% of them all things. Still I'm procrastinating close to having it
I'm 38 years old, I just got credit for a cheap old house which some girls rather not visit, but I have a nice location, and plans to improve it, for myself not for any girl, well maybe for 1, that I still don't know or she whi is reluctant but interested in me.
I'm thankful for a member her suggesting testosterone and dianabol, I'm thankful that I found a doctor who doesn't speak nonsense but just looks at blood results.
I'm thankful I'm out of therapy and focused, even when I procrastinate about what I care the most. A second income.
I'm thankful I'm exercising and that's something I could never regret.
Even when my life has totally changed from the time I came here and attempted the bag over my head with Nitrogen, a lot better from when I bought cyanide and then N. I'm not depressed anymore. I've spent 20 years depressed with medications and drug abuse. I'm alright today if I compare myself to the old me.
Even though I know I can be above and be on the path to a fuller life. It's not about reaching my goals, it's about the path of pursuing then without hesitation, it's about walking the path to a better life, not reaching it. It's about being who I say I can be. It about acting and stepping forward, and that's what it's been all about.
I'm far from perfect, I still have some self confidence issues, I spent 20 years with doctors so cut me some slack, I cut some slack myself , but I can not dwell on that... Or on so many others mistakes from the past. I've got to accept my current self and situation and build a life through action and I need to understand I will not find answers thinking, but doing , not evading responsibility waiting to feel ready.
That's it! I am waiting to FEEL ready LOL. That day may never come!! I've got to do what I can even if I'm not ready? Really? It does makes sense!!! Writing sometimes brings answers to myself.
