I'm a lost cause

[HappyForever?]

There are people in middle school who have been in more relationships than their age. They have a lifetime of happiness ahead of them, and even the occasional moments of sadness are quickly quelled by the abundance of love in their lives. They live the beautiful teenage years most people only see in movies and books. They get to experience the purest and most passionate love that most regard as nothing but fantasy. They know for a fact that they are worthy of love, and love will come to them without the slightest effort on their part.

Meanwhile I'm stuck in loneliness, with no way of freeing myself. I've been the outcast in class since kindergarten. No girl has even had the tiniest bit of interest in me. All my attempts at forming an relationship have been in vain. Whenever it comes to romance, women do not even hesitate to reject me and add another cut to my scarred heart. I'm forced to watch as others get into relationships one by one, and all I can do is grieve my lost years. Watching couples hugging and holding hands sends me into a spiral of depression.

Why is it that they do nothing and get everything, while I have done everything and get nothing? Why are they living in eteranl happiness, while I live in eternal pain?The light of love guides them through the darkest of times, reminding them that there is something to live for even when they are at their rock bottom. The darkness of loneliness crushes my soul, stripping away every meaning of life leaving a void in my heart that can never be filled. Even if a miracle happens and a girl who would accept me and love me appears in front of me, the damage cannot be repaired. I will forever mourn the lost years, the only chance of me experiencing the carefree love yet to be contaminated with the harshness of reality. I will forever have doubts that I'm not lovable in the deepest corners of my heart. And with each lonely day passing by, the wound only gets deeper and deeper. It will only be a matter of time before the unimaginable loneliness devours me alive, and I end my life of suffering.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

There are people in middle school who have been in more relationships than their age. They have a lifetime of happiness ahead of them, and even the occasional moments of sadness are quickly quelled by the abundance of love in their lives. They live the beautiful teenage years most people only see in movies and books. They get to experience the purest and most passionate love that most regard as nothing but fantasy. They know for a fact that they are worthy of love, and love will come to them without the slightest effort on their part.

Meanwhile I'm stuck in loneliness, with no way of freeing myself. I've been the outcast in class since kindergarten. No girl has even had the tiniest bit of interest in me. All my attempts at forming an relationship have been in vain. Whenever it comes to romance, women do not even hesitate to reject me and add another cut to my scarred heart. I'm forced to watch as others get into relationships one by one, and all I can do is grieve my lost years. Watching couples hugging and holding hands sends me into a spiral of depression.

Why is it that they do nothing and get everything, while I have done everything and get nothing? Why are they living in eteranl happiness, while I live in eternal pain?The light of love guides them through the darkest of times, reminding them that there is something to live for even when they are at their rock bottom. The darkness of loneliness crushes my soul, stripping away every meaning of life leaving a void in my heart that can never be filled. Even if a miracle happens and a girl who would accept me and love me appears in front of me, the damage cannot be repaired. I will forever mourn the lost years, the only chance of me experiencing the carefree love yet to be contaminated with the harshness of reality. I will forever have doubts that I'm not lovable in the deepest corners of my heart. And with each lonely day passing by, the wound only gets deeper and deeper. It will only be a matter of time before the unimaginable loneliness devours me alive, and I end my life of suffering.

I feel you. I had a tough time myself connecting back in my school years. I was plenty attractive but something was broken and defective. It's so easy to find love if you can get out of your own way. I still find it challenging. I think it all goes back to inner self loathing. We do not find ourselves worthy.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so painful what you are going through and I'm sorry that you suffer so unbearably. This life really is so cruel and unfair. I can imagine that it must be devastating seeing others have what you want. I hope that you find relief from your suffering in whatever happens and I wish you the best.

 

[justsome1]

Let's say the girl appears. Because you were the outcast in middle school you didn't learn how to be in a relationship like all the other kids did. You think you know how to be a decent person, you probably do. But you don't know how to make that romantic connection last. The chances of you pulling that off the first time are really slim. And when the girl finally dumps you because you don't know how to be in a relationship, you will feel even worse than you do right now because you will get to hate yourself for all the ways you fucked up,.So you are pretty much fucked either way. Better to figure out how to enjoy your life alone than try to have relationships that will only fail. You need to find a purpose that isn't to love and be loved, because chances are you won't be.

 

[HappyForever?]

Let's say the girl appears. Because you were the outcast in middle school you didn't learn how to be in a relationship like all the other kids did. You think you know how to be a decent person, you probably do. But you don't know how to make that romantic connection last. The chances of you pulling that off the first time are really slim. And when the girl finally dumps you because you don't know how to be in a relationship, you will feel even worse than you do right now because you will get to hate yourself for all the ways you fucked up,.So you are pretty much fucked either way. Better to figure out how to enjoy your life alone than try to have relationships that will only fail. You need to find a purpose that isn't to love and be loved, because chances are you won't be.

Encouragement of suicide is strictly prohibited here.