Venting i'm a little better, but still painful

[isolute_2488]

I recently went through a depressive episode. It was my third one, and it was truly agonizing. For five months, my emotions were completely flattened, every action felt like it was playing at half-speed, and I suffered from paranoia. It's a good thing I was living with my parents; if I had been living alone, I probably would have committed suicide back then.

I'm doing a bit better now, though I don't think I've fully recovered. Whenever I face environmental stress, I briefly slip back into that same state, and while less intense than before I still have suicidal thoughts every day. (It no longer feels like just the effect of a depressive episode, it seems to have become a part of my beliefs.)

I'm not sure if I'll make it to adulthood, but for now, I'm okay for now...

(Please understand that there may be some awkward phrasing, as a translator was used)

 

[hopen]

I'm proud of you. I'm in a similar situation to you, so I understand.