Venting I’m a coward

[LakeMungoGirl]

Either I don't ctb and I wake up tomorrow just as miserable as I did today…or I can choose to get it over with despite the pain. I know the second option is the better choice but I just can't get myself to kick the chair. I'm a fucking coward who won't endure ~30 seconds of agony to stop another nineteen years of it from happening.

I hate it here. I wish I'd die in my sleep.

 

[Dawnfang]

SI is notoriously difficult to get over. It doesn't make you a coward. It's not just the "30 seconds of agony" your body is fighting back against; it's millennia of evolution that has hardwired your brain to resist death.

Hope you find your peace, friend.

 

[Tired_birth_1967]

Forget what you learned about courage. you're just a stupid life form following a biological program. An insect acts the same way even without awareness. You can't expect anything different from the human species. If this method doesn't work for you, you'll have to think of another one. Or give up and follow the program. I've been doing this for decades and I don't feel bad about it. My only resentment is the hypocrisy that blocks peaceful means for millions of people who wouldn't want to be here.