Im a complete loser who has failed in life

[hihi2027]

These past 2 years have gone by fast fast fast. Basicallly i flunked and dropped out of college after taking a medical degree i didnt care about and only choose because of outside pressure from parents. getting a associates never interested me but they basically forces me go waste my time to go and f##### up. Now i screwed up and am in deep s###. I have zero skills and i am talented at absolutely nothing after a lifetime of depression and anxiety as well as chronic suicide ideation. I have attempted 4 times as well but never suceeded, but this has only made me have a mindset of life being pointless. The truth is that i dont have much ambition in life. I will never get married, never have kids, remain single for the rest of my life. I dont care about being rich, i just want to live a simple life without being yelled at and cursed at by parents who only had me to jerk off their own ego and rivalry after getting divorce. Right now im stuck with one of them and it is hell. I feel like a failure everyday even though on the outside it looks like everything is ok? Objectively, yes, but my mental is f#####. All i want is to get a place of my own and have peace and quiet. most of all, just to be alone with getting s### on or reminded how much of a loser i am. I have no idea how to get out of this situation. Stuck at home with parent, no money, no car, just nothing. Socially awkward and nervous at talking to people. If you were in similar position what steps did you take to getting out? right now my only option is to sell my stuff for money, purchase a firearm and blast my brains out. but there is one part of me that would like a small chance at improving life. Not that it will get rid of my suicide ideation, that will stay for life. But a change in my situatio may lessen the load and slightly extend my stay on this cold rock. Please help me if you have advice

 

[NZkiwi]

Thank you for sharing

I was told by a mentor, you are the stories you tell yourself

I hope you are able to tell your self stories where you stop being a loser and start manifesting abundance

idk @StarsAbove is much better at probably talking about manifesting than I am, help me out lol

 

[hihi2027]

Thank you for sharing

I was told by a mentor, you are the stories you tell yourself

I hope you are able to tell your self stories where you stop being a loser and start manifesting abundance

idk @StarsAbove is much better at probably talking about manifesting than I am, help me out lol

No idea what "manifest" means but, yeah, objectively i pretty much failed in life so recovery seems near impossible

 

[EmptyBottle]

No idea what "manifest" means but, yeah, objectively i pretty much failed in life so recovery seems near impossible

ig recovery is tricky, I'm probably not fully recovered yet, tho ig I'm close... hoping recovery becomes easier over time.

 

[NZkiwi]

hoping recovery becomes easier over time

Just noticed you're from australia

Maybe it's best for both our countries if you don't recover

(Sarcasm) :P

 

[lastappleonearth]

These past 2 years have gone by fast fast fast. Basicallly i flunked and dropped out of college after taking a medical degree i didnt care about and only choose because of outside pressure from parents. getting a associates never interested me but they basically forces me go waste my time to go and f##### up. Now i screwed up and am in deep s###. I have zero skills and i am talented at absolutely nothing after a lifetime of depression and anxiety as well as chronic suicide ideation. I have attempted 4 times as well but never suceeded, but this has only made me have a mindset of life being pointless. The truth is that i dont have much ambition in life. I will never get married, never have kids, remain single for the rest of my life. I dont care about being rich, i just want to live a simple life without being yelled at and cursed at by parents who only had me to jerk off their own ego and rivalry after getting divorce. Right now im stuck with one of them and it is hell. I feel like a failure everyday even though on the outside it looks like everything is ok? Objectively, yes, but my mental is f#####. All i want is to get a place of my own and have peace and quiet. most of all, just to be alone with getting s### on or reminded how much of a loser i am. I have no idea how to get out of this situation. Stuck at home with parent, no money, no car, just nothing. Socially awkward and nervous at talking to people. If you were in similar position what steps did you take to getting out? right now my only option is to sell my stuff for money, purchase a firearm and blast my brains out. but there is one part of me that would like a small chance at improving life. Not that it will get rid of my suicide ideation, that will stay for life. But a change in my situatio may lessen the load and slightly extend my stay on this cold rock. Please help me if you have advice

I'm sorry u have to go through this. I mean, you could sell some of your stuff, not all of it, but at least the things you don't really need, if you have those. I had a bunch of stuff I didn't need and it didn't bring me tons of money obviously, but a fair bit. Honestly I'm in kind of in a similar situation and if I would know how to get out of it, I'd tell you. I'm just trying to make an appointment with a psychiatrist rn, but it's difficult to find one, who still takes in new patients

 

[StarsAbove]

No idea what "manifest" means but, yeah, objectively i pretty much failed in life so recovery seems near impossible

Its a concept in which you manipulate the universe to attract what you want in life by acting as if you already have it, or by acknowledging it frequently, and then forgetting it (set it abd forget it). Its supposedly how cision baorss are supposed to work. There are all sorts of tips and tricks to manifest. The only thing is, you cannot manifest from a place of lack. You cannot manifest by acting like you want it, you have to pretend you already have it and are grateful for having it. Its a mind fuck and difficult to do when depressed because depression always feels like lack. I have been able to manifest material things in my life but not happiness. I am wondering if that part is possible

Why do you say you failed?

Thank you for sharing

I was told by a mentor, you are the stories you tell yourself

Its so true

And haha, thanks for the plug!

 

[hihi2027]

Its a concept in which you manipulate the universe to attract what you want in life by acting as if you already have it, or by acknowledging it frequently, and then forgetting it (set it abd forget it). Its supposedly how cision baorss are supposed to work. There are all sorts of tips and tricks to manifest. The only thing is, you cannot manifest from a place of lack. You cannot manifest by acting like you want it, you have to pretend you already have it and are grateful for having it. Its a mind fuck and difficult to do when depressed because depression always feels like lack. I have been able to manifest material things in my life but not happiness. I am wondering if that part is possible

Why do you say you failed?

Its so true

And haha, thanks for the plug!

I have no skills or talented at anything and I have no ambitions in life that are useful. if you read my thread you see why i am a failure

 

[NZkiwi]

I have no skills or talented at anything and I have no ambitions in life that are useful.

Something I struggle with is perception and reality

We perceive ourselves to be useful while others look at us, and find comfort that we're still around

I find your talent of engaging with this fourum useful to me, so thank you

 

[StarsAbove]

I have no skills or talented at anything and I have no ambitions in life that are useful. if you read my thread you see why i am a failure

Youre right, sorry not sure how I missed that.

I dont't think you are asking for too much at all. Is there anyway you can get out of your parent's home?

 

[hihi2027]

Youre right, sorry not sure how I missed that.

I dont't think you are asking for too much at all. Is there anyway you can get out of your parent's home?

I literally no idea where to start. I dont have any money to my name to even move out in the first place. No friends or extended family to go to in the meantime. No car, can't drive anywhere. I would like to move out and live on my own but I'm just parazyled with indecisiveness. I dont know where to start..

 

[StarsAbove]

I literally no idea where to start. I dont have any money to my name to even move out in the first place. No friends or extended family to go to in the meantime. No car, can't drive anywhere. I would like to move out and live on my own but I'm just parazyled with indecisiveness. I dont know where to start..

That is really rough, I am sorry. It sounds like you feel very trapped. Do you have other family members you can live with instead? A nice aunt or uncle? If not, is there a way to get a job close to home so you can save up a bit and open a few more doors?