I'll never be loved

[NothingElseMatters]

I have never seen one single girl attracted to me and I'm almost 30 years old. this makes me feel sad, i mean, why can't I experience love? and i've tried, used tinder, tried talking to girls from work, college, tried sending messages on instagram and they never even returned my messages, that's my fucking fate, be a lonely wolf.

 

[Superdeterminist]

IKTF. Very hard to live with, year by painstaking year. Without blaming anyone - it's simply a dreadful experience for a person to live out.

 

[Midgardsorm]

I'm 34, never had a girlfriend.

I always did my best, I was the best I could. Yet, something were missing. I read those Pickup Artists books but I didn't used the techniques. It seems some kind of manipulation and I didn't like it. I hate manipulating people.
There was a girl from Germany that I met online. We didn't even talk much, but we exchanged texts of encouragement, poems, songs and we had a really good connection. At that moment I felt something I had never felt before. But one day it all ended, she ended up walking away. I don't quite understand the reasons, but I respect her decision, I just wish that she is okay. I miss her dearly.

I just accept it today, I can no longer find love due to my condition, anyway.

Oh just a thing: Careful with Tinder, it should be an app to help finding love, but it end up creating a whole new problem due to the standards. It is essentially a human menu.

 

[Pluto]

I always did my best, I was the best I could. Yet, something were missing. I read those Pickup Artists books but I didn't used the techniques. It seems some kind of manipulation and I didn't like it. I hate manipulating people.

That's true in a way. And yet, the reason these problems exist in the first place is that boys in our society are raised to suppress their natural, authentic masculinity and feel toxic shame around their sexuality. Then they wonder why there is no fulfilling interactions with the opposite gender. The manipulation has already been done.

I don't condone any sort of predatory approach that is disrespectful towards women, but encouraging young men to undo the damage that society has done would naturally lead to better outcomes.

 

[doesntevenmatter]

I feel for those of you who have never experienced love, I do. Two of my best friends in life are virgins, and I'm 30 as are they. That being said, in some ways I envy you guys. Because love sucks, too. I have experienced love and I have been destroyed by it. In some ways I don't regret certain aspects, but in other ways I wish I could go back and never experience it.

There's a quote from a Matchbox 20 song I really like, the song itself is okay but this quote burns deep within me:

"And I don't know
If I've ever been really loved
By a hand that's touched me"

I've had several girlfriends in my life, and obviously I have a "family" or had. I relate to this quote so much, because I don't believe anyone who has ever touched me has truly loved me. Both romantically and in the sense of family. Although, to be fair, I do feel like my friends for the most part genuinely love me. My reason for bringing this all up is that hindsight is 20/20 I guess. You're here right now, most likely lonely and wanting that feeling of love from someone. But at the same time, there are those of us who are here BECAUSE of that "love". I don't mean to make you feel bad or anything of the sort, it's just simply something I felt like was applicable to this post and bears discussing.

 

[Walkingcorpse123]

I hate love. It's a wicked thing not worth it imo.

 

[NoPointToContinue]

Try not to focus on that much. Our minds are programmed to focus on what we lack so I know how hard it is not to fall into that trap.

Imagine you found that love and experienced that sweetness. But after some time as it generally happens you broke up with that girl. Now you will feel longing for past days with her. Even during relationship there will be conflicts(after honeymoon stage) if you see other person as your escape from loneliness.

I'm not telling relationships are bad. Of course they can be beautiful. But if you try to use things in life to fill the void within you, they will be the source of suffering regardless if you get them or not. You can't use another person to cure your loneliness. The best would be to be comfortable with yourself first, with or without partner.

If you focus on what you lack all the time, that's all your life will become, you will see, feel what you lack everywhere and make yourself miserable.

Do you want to live your life like this forever? What if you never find partner, what if no one does not love you ever? You will be miserable until you die? Why do you put conditions that's not entirely in your control on your well-being? Why would you wait for someone in order to be happy and at peace?

Grass look greener on the other side. There are many people in relationship that are not happy. When we are in relationship we are looking for solitude, when we are lonely we search someone to save us from it. Instead of being the slave of our minds' black and white thinking we should try to get out of it and try to live our goddamn life to best our abilities.

Btw, I'm talking from my experience. I know both loneliness and being in love with my partner so much that I was losing my mind. In the end no one and no thing will fill the void within you except yourself.

 

[NormaJeane]

There should be someone for us all, the problem is to find that person in this overpopulation.

 

[FuneralCry]

It is understandable, wanting to be loved. I can imagine that rejection must be painful. From my point of view, I do not like love, as if you love something you just have something to lose and eventually cause you pain. Therefore the way I see it, it is better to have nothing in the first place.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

There should be someone for us all, the problem is to find that person in this overpopulation.

The more people we have to choose from, the less likely a relationship is to work. Why I advocate for a "pick one early, pair up and make it work" strategy (state-mandated).