“If you really wanted to die, you would have done it by now”

[phoenixx]

I've had someone tell me this before and it really pissed me off.

How would you respond if someone told you this?

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

"Oh don't worry, it'll happen sooner than you think and I'll finally be out of your hair. I just want to make sure I'm completely ready first, you know? People who get married don't always just have their weddings right when they propose, right? Well at least they shouldn't. This is a much bigger decision in my opinion so it should of course require even more planning first just to ensure it's perfect. Thanks for your concern but I'm working as fast as I can so please bear with me."

 

[Callie Arcale]

This is a myth.

I recently watched a very interesting interview with a psychiatry professor who adressed this very question.

She said that most people who commit suicide think about it and plan it in their heads for a while before actually doing it.

 

[deletednumber]

This is a myth.

I recently watched a very interesting interview with a psychiatry professor who adressed this very question.

She said that most people who commit suicide think about it and plan it in their heads for a while before actually doing it.

that's right ... I also read the same thing .... very often it was found that those who committed suicide and were successful had already tried other times and had planned it well .... committing suicide and dying unfortunately is not as easy as one thinks ... even i thought it would be quick and easy the first time i tried.

I've had someone tell me this before and it really pissed me off.

How would you respond if someone told you this?

Just respond:"Go fuck yourself"

 

[Circles]

Lol I made a meme a while ago cause my sister said exactly this to me.

 

[Soulless Angel]

I loathe those people, ive had *failed* attempts, doesn't mean I don't want to, just means people got in the fucking way,
Ive not had it said to me direct, but Ive had the insinuation thrown at me,
People are fuckers ignore them

 

[nightshow]

This is a myth.

I recently watched a very interesting interview with a psychiatry professor who adressed this very question.

She said that most people who commit suicide think about it and plan it in their heads for a while before actually doing it.

can you send that video or link?

 

[stellabelle]

I've had someone tell me this before and it really pissed me off.

How would you respond if someone told you this?

Condescending, isn't it?

Sad.

It's intended to trigger. It's intended to show a lack of care or concern about your feelings and invalidate your statements about not wanting to exist.

If you really wanted to die, you'd be dead by now right?

People say don't try! Just do!

And you know. It's very sad. It's very sad because we learn to "give up" and then things go from bad to worse. Maybe things get a little bit better, and then it sinks again and again.

People who "have it easy" call it "sink or swim" but it never really does work out that way, does it?

Or maybe for some, it does.

If you work really hard….. it doesnt "change".

It does for some and not for others.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Yeah and after you ctb they will be the first ones to say that they never saw it coming or that you should have talked to someone. Suicide prevention basically boils down to stop talking about it and go bother someone else.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

can you send that video or link?

I wouldn't mind watching that interview as well,it sounds very interesting and informative, @Callie Arcale :-)

 

[Mr2005]

Girlfriends said that before. She likes to mock and ridicule it. Makes her feel better

 

[freelifexit]

I would show this meme)

 

[Hirokami]

"So, if I actually tried to do it, you wouldn't try to stop me ... Right?"

 

[Callie Arcale]

I wouldn't mind watching that interview as well,it sounds very interesting and informative, @Callie Arcale :-)

It's in my native language, I don't think you'd understand it. But yeah, it was informative and also validating.

 

[seaweaves]

How would you respond if someone told you this?

I'd probably respond flippantly, since I doubt someone asking that question has any awareness of the many social and institutional barriers to suicide, nor the lived experience of suicidality. If someone doesn't understand that ideation, intent, desire, choices, plans, etc don't always line up with immediate action, idk what to contribute beyond trite remarks

If I really wanted to not be in debt, I would be financially secure! If I really wanted not to have PTSD, I'd be cured! If I really wanted some taquitos right now, I'd have already started eating them! If I really wanted my joint pain to stop, I would've already found relief! Or maybe just more flippantly: if I really wanted to have this conversation with an uninformed person, we already would have had it! Or just "wow thanks I'm cured"

Ofc this depends on with whom you're talking and what things you're comfortable saying. But if the question is what would I do, the above is the main way I'd lean. But I try to address this more upstream in my life by just not bringing or letting people who'd say such things into my life when I can help it

 

[Rogue Proxy]

Lol I made a meme a while ago cause my sister said exactly this to me.

View attachment 82619

This bitch's attitude is so filthy she needs to thrown into an industrial strength washing machine. Of course, she'll have to be laundered separately as a single load.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

It's in my native language, I don't think you'd understand it. But yeah, it was informative and also validating.

What language is that Callie l have a Auto Translator on my Phone l could run it through! :-)

 

[Catloaf]

It's their way of convincing themselves that you are not suicidal.

 

[TooConscious]

People who are basically trying to push others to death.
At least some of these people end up terminally ill or grow old and suffer terribly in nursing homes having been abandoned by everyone and everything.
But not all of them because of the injustice in this shitty existence.
But some end up knowing what it's like begging to die and not being heard, wishing they could kill themselves. Perhaps they get a fleeting thought that they shouldn't have been so cruel in their health and happiness.

 

[Bleak]

You could say the same thing for any difficult goal they haven't achieved yet. Oh, you're not rich/successful? I guess you just don't really want to be.

 

[Ankou]

 

[stellabelle]

You could say the same thing for any difficult goal they haven't achieved yet. Oh, you're not rich/successful? I guess you just don't really want to be.

That's definitely another one.

Not everyone has an "equal opportunity" and not everyone has equal privileges.

One more chisel at the self esteem.

People think being "rich" is more important than being "happy."

Money couldn't buy happiness and it never will. Happiness isn't in a shopping bag, it was the idea of giving it away.

And the same happiness. Not okay for people to intentionally sabotage and then "laugh" and do it again and again. So I mean… so be it.

I made a lot when I was younger… it wouldn't change my mother. I regret buying everything with the intent of just giving it away anyway, before it got stolen by people. People ignore and ignore and trigger and trigger.

I had a classmate say they were "jealous" and it was "sooo cute." But I told her "don't be, I don't think they're cute. I'm trying to appease my mother and see if she would ever tell me she "loves" me. (Long story short. She wouldn't. It wouldn't change anything.) and the point of it was to give it away.)

Every time I seemingly had something that "mattered", the same people pretty much kept chiseling away at my self esteem and then denying involvement and trying to use "stuff" to appeal me. It never did. They never did hold up their end of their false promises. And people just enabled those fuck faces, including the justice system etc.

Stalkers. Stalkers and liars. Layers and layers and layers. Layers of stalkers and shit disturbers that denied any involvement and wouldn't "help." Or they'd do everything except what you wanted and made your life as difficult as possible and then blamed you. Every time.

And it wasn't fair.

Nor was it okay. Being bullied ten ways to Sunday and then people take it as a "joke" until it becomes serious. And it's not okay.

Blood boils and people called it a "choice" when it wasn't. It was a fear based tactic of abuse that I could identify but nobody would help me get out of it. I was stuck. And after all the chasing in circles. All of the crap. All of the stalking. All of the crap crap crap people do. And you're so tired of it all.

 

[xLosthopex]

I get that question from fellow members on here all the time lol
My thoughts/responses to this are:
1) Why the hell do you care about how fast or slow another person kills themself
2) Well if you also want to die why are you still here asking me annoying questions instead of being six feet under
3) Fuck off it's none of your business :)

 

[stellabelle]

I get that question from fellow members on here all the time lol
My thoughts/responses to this are:
1) Why the hell do you care about how fast or slow another person kills themself
2) Well if you also want to die why are you still here asking me annoying questions instead of being six feet under
3) Fuck off it's none of your business :)

I have to agree.
The same annoying shit in person.
To twist and lie and fuck with and blame and damn it, people are fucked.

 

[blueclover_.]

My response: There's something called survival instinct dummy

 

[stellabelle]

My response: There's something called survival instinct dummy

On the note of "survival" instinct and "surviving" - people shouldn't just be "surviving" they should be LIVING. Telling people "you'll survive" is rather cruel. Especially when exposing people to cruel working or living conditions and cruel or unusual behavior. Sleep deprivation, so on.

It's sad too when people who want to be ALIVE and having fun give up on it entirely because of cruel people. Cruel people, attention competitions, snatch and grab, all of this.

Stalkers, more stalkers, and more stalkers. You eventually learn to say "I give up" because people are crazy. People are fucked up. And you know. It's just that way I guess. People are fuckin nuts. Like… Matt herrman… and the fuckfaces that enabled him. Told him to stalk and treat me like garbage. Sending me in circles with garbage from Kansas because they were fuck faces and it didn't matter to THEM how bad he was treating me. And you know… you only fucking hope the fuck face finally gets what he deserves for what he did. He was a fuckin lunatic. And just pushed me over the edge all of the time. And you know… it wasn't something that could be easily dealt with because he would not STOP his little "game" which I said… I don't want to BE WITH HIM. I was STUCK. And you know they blamed me for HIS problems and trying to SHUT HIS ASS UP AND TELL HIM NOT TO STALK ME OR FUCK WITH ME AND HE KEPT DOING IT, SO…. And that whole game of so so… so so… yeah it's not a game.

 

[wanttodie]

id be pissed off

 

[Seiba]

I'm not really socially experienced so I'd likely just say "ok then" or something along those lines. I'm also not really dependent on the validation of such a person, if you convince them you're being serious about suicide they'll just try to call the cops. While invalidating it's better from a stealth perspective to be not believed by the people around you. As a consolation you have this forum, many of us have been on here for months and some on and off for years. Your suicidal feelings are valid regardless of any amount of time passing.

 

[deathismymeaning]

it's definitely aggravating to hear this comment from anyone especially from mental health professionals because it completely contradicts how they are supposed to deal with suicidal individuals, I actually had this said to me recently by a social worker in the hospital and ever since then i've lost the small amount of faith I had in the mental health system.

It's funny how they tell you to reach out before doing anything but if you reach before having taken action they tell you you're just looking for attention.

 

[PDAnnie2610]

Yep. But everytime I struggle with that thought, I rehearse the perfect way to die so that it will be as flawless as my life is flawed when I finally decide to board the bus.

I'm (trying) not to feel sorry for myself but being at a dead end for both mental health and physical therapy and facing things alone kinda feels quite overwhelming.