If you had N would you drink it immediately ?

[Fadeawaaaay]

I would guzzle it rn

 

[Manaaja]

I'd drink it eventually, though maybe not today,

 

[Darkover]

i would drink it whenever the pain is too unbearable like within one month of having it, if i had it, it wouldn't be very long before i did drink it

 

[Disappointered]

I want to add a painkiller and still need to get AE. I'll probably end up doing it during an phase of extreme emotion, even on impulse, after having prepared everything for quick availability (even if that means the AE might not have time to work). If i leave to setting a date i might not be able to go through with it but i know i've been in certain horrible mental spaces during which it would have happend and in the future (because i'm sure my life won't improve so the dark moments are always on the horizon) will happen. I remember that's what now at peace member GoneGoneGone had said and I agreed with her.

 

[Bleak]

Maybe 6 years ago I had N in my hand, had taken anti-emetics and had written my notes. I was too scared and couldn't bring myself to drink it. So unfortunately no, I am too much of a coward. But I guess even though I live in misery and am a drain to society, my parents won't have the pain of losing me to suicide. Although if things continue to get worse I don't know how much more I can handle.

 

[PeacefulTonic]

I really want to but don't have my affairs in order yet

 

[PDAnnie2610]

Yes. Once everything is settled. I've SN though so it's the next best..

 

[Shadowplay]

I just ate so probably not. I do it tomorrow maybe or next weekend perhaps.

 

[eryu]

I would hesitate and perhaps delay for a few days. There's a friend I'm in contact with who is also suffering very badly and I don't like the thought of leaving him alone. Maybe at the point of my next breakdown which occur often and during which the awfulness of my life and bleakness of my future becomes too apparent to hide from any longer.

 

[yive]

if i had a safe place without the risk of being "saved" by selfish/cruel/mindless people and N in my hands, then yes, i would drink it immediately

 

[ondodera]

As much as I tell myself that I wouldn't hesitate, I know I would and ponder about it for a while. Mostly because I don't want to hurt my mom, but if she wasn't around I'd take it no problem on the spot.

 

[canna2]

Within a heartbeat.

 

[After Life]

The way I have been feeling lately I think I would just do it, no point of extending the pain of anxiety and stress anymore the feeling of not fitting in anywhere. I Would cherish the feeling of falling asleep and fading into the darkness of not existing anymore.

 

[FuneralCry]

The way I am feeling right now, I would say yes. I think it would be comforting to have N, I deserve a peaceful exit from this life. When you are dead, you cannot suffer and you are free from all pain. I want to leave this pointless empty existence behind. Even know I am still breathing, the reality is that I have already died.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

If it was sitting right in front of me, would be hard to resist… I can just imagine that warm feeling coming over me as I drift off to sleep forever…

I know it's selfish and lazy but it's hard to care about what comes afterwards… Who find the body, what happens to my possessions, how friends and family feel… Maybe I'm a sociopath… Or maybe I'm just numb… or both - I used to pretend I'm not an asshole, But even that is too much trouble right now…

 

[LoveTakesManyForms]

I haven't slept properly in 9 months and am in constant physical and psychological pain. I am staying at my ill Mother's house who is also on the verge of death.
When she dies I'll have nowhere to go, and will have to cope with her death as well, which is something I've feared since I was 10 years old.
Hopefully if I die first then the grief will finish her off. She has suffered more than enough in this life.
I have extreme anxiety which worsens upon hearing sound. I literally spend my days lying in bed with a white noise generating machine, trying to mask all sounds of the outside world.
What I wouldn't give to have a nice, quiet room to stay in whilst lethal drugs are administered. If this was done by physician, then they could take my organs (which should be in fairy good condition) and give them to someone in need. It's a win/win situation.

Even if I weren't in multiple sources of incurable pain, I have Body Dysmorphic Disorder that is so relentless that it consumes every waking minute of the day.
Living like this is humiliating and frightening. There is utterly no quality of life.
I am overwhelmed with the anxiety of knowing that I only have hanging or train at my disposal, and have not the means to obtain anything else.
With each passing day I grow more desperate, and more bad memories for my loved ones, anger and despair are generated.
My days are consumed with the thought of my body jerking around as I suffocate myself. I have tried hanging before but would always back out at the last minute due to panic.
There isn't a single moment of peace. My existence is utter futility.
I have this deep need for silence, like I just need my mind to switch off for the last time. Sleep is fantastic, as when I am asleep I dream of normality, and am utterly horrified and disappointed upon awakening.

So in summary yes, I would drink it, although I'll have to travel to a nearby location to do so to ensure that I am not interrupted. I'm still afraid of doing it, but I know I can't do this forever and would have to just get it over and done with. With the insomnia and constant anxiety I feel, it would only be a matter of time until my health deteriorates further anyway.

If it was sitting right in front of me, would be hard to resist… I can just imagine that warm feeling coming over me as I drift off to sleep forever…

I know it's selfish and lazy but it's hard to care about what comes afterwards… Who find the body, what happens to my possessions, how friends and family feel… Maybe I'm a sociopath… Or maybe I'm just numb… or both - I used to pretend I'm not an asshole, But even that is too much trouble right now…

If you could be happy and content, you would be. So if you are an "asshole", then it is only by design, and not your fault.
Nobody can expect you to care about or manage any of that stuff given your present state of mind.

 

[NormaJeane]

No, Nembutal should be injected.

 

[PeacefulTonic]

No, Nembutal should be injected.

Everyone who buys it here drinks it. Can't self inject

 

[QueenShrike]

Well I would say absolutely, but the sn staring at me from my wardrobe would probably disagree...

 

[Lost Magic]

Not immediately, but I would love the comfort of knowing it was there. Obviously, Vet Nembutal is meant to be injected and isn't as pleasant as the stuff they use in Dignitas but it gets the job done.

 

[Treeline589]

Yes

 

[Nanako]

Absolutely, just thinking about it makes me happy. My life fucking sucks man, why do I have to settle for the unreliable methods instead? Killing yourself shouldn't be this fucking hard, it's like I'm really in hell. I'm not allowed to live a happy life but I'm not allowed to just die either.

Sorry for going on a tangent, I had a difficult day.

 

[raghu1977]

I have been trying to get N for the last month and lost money to two scammers. I'm hoping I can get it from D.

If not - will need to look at other alternatives.

And yes! I would chug it right now and wash it down with some whiskey.

 

[Lost Magic]

I read this post before I was fortunate enough to acquire N from D. I still have a few things to take care of like writing a will and I would like to go to a beautiful place one last time. My days are numbered, though, and I am blessed to have N as a way out at the time of my choosing.