If you had access to your preferred method right now, would you ctb?

[lpdsvm]

Well, my preferred method must be painless. I have SN and some others so it won't be painless or any comfortable. If there is one, then, I wouldn't do it just yet. I still want to see how bad it will get before I CTB. How much I can last supporting myself financially and maybe mentally. Many can survive in worse mental states, but they are married and loved no matter what (I have seen it a lot).
It's hard to predict. It can be next month or in a year. But I feel like it has to happen soon. I am useless, but I don't hate it. Even if I was very useful, it wouldn't last forever (just much longer before CTBing), unless I patented something after managing to not disclose it and avoid anyone who would steal it. But health can get bad and unbearable so nothing is certain. I already look at things like it is OK to lose something, but with that perfect method, I would not even stress about anything.

 

[elenaboo25]

I say I still have things to do, and things I'm looking forward to, but if the substance that is used for assisted dying magically appeared in my room, I'd probably take it, for fear the opportunity would otherwise disappear again. I haven't yet made a formal request, I'll wait with that until I've done those things I'm still wanting to do.

 

[Forveleth]

A few months ago I would have said yes, however, a few months ago I got the desire to make sure that my body ended up where I wanted it after I die. So right now I am in the process of getting my affairs in order, getting a will, etc. I currently have access to several methods and could carry out any one of them at this exact moment. However, I want to get things in order first.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Though right now, if I had a pil or drink l I could take that would kill me 100% I would take it.

Yeah, in the hypothetical world where I have N, I'm slamming it right now.

My actual options:

FSH tonight (I give up when I start feeling the pain)

Buy a gun today (probably too anxious and pulling the trigger is its own ordeal)

Untested CO in the car (can one little grill do it?)

The psychache is so intense I want to be dead today. But I've felt this way for months and I always just couchrot the day away anyway.

 

[UserFromNowhere]

I used to believe that SN would be my ideal method, but I've had it for months and have refused to use it whereas I've not hesitated to rope. I imagine that if I had access to something like Nembutal, I'd still question whether I should use it, but I believe that's because of the (nearly) ensured death of these methods. Hanging is a bit more problematic and not always critical, it's possible I've been using it as a coping mechanism to quell my suicidal tendencies while not being ready to die yet, I can't be certain. Nevertheless, I think back to the age old adage, "if people had a button that could instantly end their life, everyone would be dead."

 

[LigottiIsRight]

It's possible since my preferred method is the quickest of all (firearm), although the need to do some things before could turn off the impulse.

 

[YourLocalSadGirly]

Yes absolutely I'd do it right this second if I had everything ready. Unfortunately I'm still in the planning stages but I'll get there eventually.

 

[IwantSN]

I would try to get some privacy first so that I don't get interrupted ,but then I would do it

 

[galier]

I would definitely do it without wasting one more second being alive.
I have everything ready, I just can't do it the way I need to. And the only method available I have is not working (full hanging). I can't get past the SI.

 

[primadonna_]

I keep telling myself there's one thing I need to do before that happens. I also want to do something nice for my dog so that she has a "good" lasting memory of me

I remember when I was like 6 I would tell myself to wait a few weeks so I could go to disney land with my mom and then I would ctb because i could NOT miss that. That's what kept me going :)

 

[SASU-KE]

I could go to disney land with my mom

It didn't happen,did it ?

 

[primadonna_]

It didn't happen,did it ?

I went to disney land and like totally forgot about it I was holding on by a thread the whole time

 

[SASU-KE]

I went to disney land and like totally forgot about it I was holding on by a thread the whole time

I was sure you didn't and that was maybe one reason for that attempt that came later on..

 

[KinderEgg]

I think so. Strong chance.