I just want the option to erase my existence so it's like I never suffered at all, I'd never wish to be burdened with this existence under any circumstances, just being conscious is such a futile, torturous burden to me that I'd never wish for. I just want it to be all gone and forgotten about for me, I have no interest in suffering in this existence, I see no point to it either and I see existing as completely undesirable in every way possible, being able to erase my existence would solve everything for me, it's all I hope for, I just want peace from this existence I always saw as the most terrible, tragic mistake.