If i had N, I would be CTB right NOW

[lovelypirategirl]

Fuck my life.

I hate myself. I hate my life. I'm a worthless piece of sh*t.

I wish I would have never been born. I'm tired of feeling tired every day and tired of having to survive every single day. I'm exhausted of living with physical and emotional pain. I can't stand it anymore... I wish I was ran over by a truck so the dirty job would be done for me. I'm just tired of trying... I have lived the past few years attempting to live a normal happy life and it's not possible for me. I have tried therapy, psychiatrists, medicine, healthy lifestyles, meditation, etc. Nothing works for me. I just want to give a full stop to all these pain.

Please help.

 

[Darkover]

me to welcome to the club

 

[summers]

@lovelypirategirl it's not a long-term solution by any means, but some Adderall or meth would make you feel like superwoman for a while. Unlimited energy, can go days without sleeping or eating. If you are going to ctb anyway, why not enjoy life a little before you go.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think for me, if I had N it would be a comforting feeling knowing I could exit peacefully at a time of my own choosing. A peaceful death is what I deserve. I understand the feelings of desperation, it can be very horrible. I know that it is hard to carry on when you are suffering so much. I am also very tired of living. I wish you the best. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

 

[Nostalgic]

@lovelypirategirl it's not a long-term solution by any means, but some Adderall or meth would make you feel like superwoman for a while. Unlimited energy, can go days without sleeping or eating. If you are going to ctb anyway, why not enjoy life a little before you go.

Please dont do meth, you can get addicted after ONLY one use.

The funny thing about ctb is that I dont really even want to do it. I just wish there was a button that I could switch to turn it all off. Or I could just turn into a bird and just fly away and never come back. To clarify its the horrible methodologies of ctb that I dont want to do but N seems peaceful. Smoke a blunt and down a few drinks to calm the nerves. I think I understand what you're going through.

 

[Pluto]

I know how you feel every day.

It feels so wrong that people abuse us during our formative years, and then we are set up to attack and abuse ourselves for decades. A sort of inversion of poetic justice. I truly wish I had the power to take away your pain.

 

[Muse]

Same here. I can't bear life anymore.