If i disappear

[FireFox]

There is going to be a time when i will stop posting complety and just disappear. What does it mean to have a line over your name.

If i disappear I would like to thank everyone for being so supportive and non judgemental. Being here i am listened to in a way the outside world has failed to do . I am sorry if i ever upset anyone on this forum.

@rebelsue sorry about my unhelpful/unhurtful comments on one your threads. I really am sorry. I tried to private message you but it says you have limits on your proflie.

Being here i met so many amazing people with interesting perspectives on life . Being here i realise i am.not alone in all this. The forum gives me freedom to express myself .

I hope everyone finds peace. This is an amazing community. I am glad i got to talk to you all.

As time has go on i realise i dont see my life ever changing and getting better. Everyday i feel trapped and powerles to change it all.

I realise i being punished for everything and i dont belong here in this world.

I am selfish, desperate to be loved and falls apart when it is not recopricated , i am loser
I am 23 and dont feel.young anymore. I have lived all these years and nothing to show for it
- no career/job
- no partner
- living at home with parents
- crying everytime i do a cv as i cant make it super perfect or crying over buying a gift as i dont think it is perfect
Ashamed of my life
I wake up and feel like nothing. Graduating just screwed me up even more and probably ended my life .
There is a part of me that wants to live but often it so short lived. The part of me that wants to live feels so free and happy but so short lived

I will give any anything to be happy again. I even told my step father last christmas all i want is to be happy. I dont want any other gift. He thought i was joking and not being serious.

Thanks for everything
Love
FireFox

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I understand your pain. I hope you can find peace. A line over your name means you either self banned or were banned by one of the Mods.
If you change your mind... we are here to chat.

 

[FriendofDeath]

Have you tried working with a professional and/or taking any medications? It could be one small thing that would help you experience some happiness. I know that without medication I am in a much worse place. It does help me survive.

I'm sorry things are so difficult for you. Are you by chance a perfectionist? It sounds like you take responsibility for everything and everyone, and you can't find peace for yourself if you are worried about everything being just right. Do you often feel your happiness is tied to how others are feeling? It's a lot to put on yourself, if that's the case.

I support you, no matter what you decide. You can ignore everything I've written. I realize I do not know you, but your words touched me and I don't think you are a loser or that you are selfish. I think you are overwhelmed, and I hope you can find ways to experience more happiness, because that's what you deserve.