Venting Idk what just happened to me

[Cepheuss]

Weird story but im pissed off w everyone i actually know so chose to come here. I was on holiday and got the train to my mates cause i missed her, her boyfriends there we dont get on he's being weird all day anyways they get into an argument so i tell them ill go on a walk to give them some space cause i was uncomfortable and drunk didnt really wanna deal w that. Anyways in my pyjamas i go out i meet up with some guys that i kinda know but one of them has a thing for me so ive been tryna convince him im a lesbian lol anyways we have a lot of fun i asked my mate if her and her boyfriend are okay she said yeah so i go back to discover im now locked out. In my pyjamas. Theyre asleep. Im now drunk and high. In new shoes no socks btw so feet are fucked now lol… i dont have much of a choice but to go hang out w these guys again but i was so pissed off my friend went to bed without messaging me or waiting for me to get back like a im drunk and meeting guys i dont fully trust and she knows this why wouldn't she wait to know im safe?? Im just with them calling everyone to try wake people up i go visit my ex for a bit and get harrassed by some nittys cause my mate lives in town so its not exactly safe.. no ones waking up im getting more panicked cause now im away from home no money to get back cause shes in a different city and kts like 2am now, homeless and just upset. The guy im with who has a crush on me basically says hes going home so i can go with him or i can try survive outside two pretty scary options but i figured itd be fine id just stay awake but im still tryna message everyone to try get a lift or just for someone to acknowledge im not safe. I end up going back to his just hoping hes accepting my lesbian act but yeah was having a chill time until i get pinned on his bed so i fully csnt leave i was basically hanging off th bed tryna get out i couldn't breathe all that well and i just didnt know what to do i was so fucking uncomfortable i dont wanna talk about it too much but didnt get raped so atleast thats great.. anyways finally someone responds my ex says hes worried and to meet up w him hes got a key to my friends we can go drink and ill be safe so i tell the guy im with hey i gotta go back to town and he insists on coming with me just for me to discover my ex has fallen asleep in my mates, drunk all the whiskey snd the door is still locked and im just so upset at this point so i go back im still just uncomfortable as fuck and still with this guy who is now pressuring basically begging me to go shower at his cause i said i needed a shower once i got back to my mates (heatwave in uk rn) and i had to say a million times no im good no it took so fucking long. I eventually get back in the house and just grab my shit and go withoit saying anything i was fucking pisseddd. My friends start to eake up and see my messages my friend asked me if i was molested i just said semi and she left me on read? Thanks guys. Im just so pissed at everyone and myself i knew i shouldn't have gone back to his but it was unfair i got forced into the options of risk it on the streets or risk it at this guys house.. sorry this is super long but now im just upset cause no one in my life gives a shit about what happened none of them helped me when i needed it despite me always helping them. But yeah now my legs really fucking hurt and im just pissed off and going back on drugs cause this whole thing is hurting my head idk why the fuck iwent to his i couldn't have been in a more vulnerable state. I struggle a lot with thinking all my friends and family hate me and i have to do a lot of mental work to try surpass that but everytime someone lets me down it just reinforces that mindstate.
Sorry for the essay jesus