Ideas - section is being removed.

[Whole-Ad]

Been a really shitty day today. My year long section is getting removed. It means I can finally ctb in peace. Need ideas on methods. I did choose recovery and thought things were going well but guess I never learn, so here I am back on this site.

I've tried partial before but was found, it took me ages to find the sweet spot to be able to black out anyways. Not sure where I would attempt hanging either as I don't want to do it at home. Could maybe do it in my car but again I don't want to risk being found too early.

I've previously imported SN from two sources in different countries and managed to import metoclopramide from India. These have since been disposed of and all of my packages are checked by my parents so this isn't a possible method unless I pay for a PO Box which is just too expensive for me at the moment.

What else can I do? I need to do this, just sick of everything. Thinking about ODing on paracetamol as it's the easiest thing I can think of but don't think it's a nice way to go. I will do it if I have to though. Any ideas?
Forgot to mention - I have access to zopiclone for sleep. Could maybe try taking a load of those and tying a bag around my head? Hopefully the zopiclone would speed up unconsciousness.

 

[libby]

Sorry to hear this. If things were going well what's changed ? If you chose recovery what made you choose recovery?

 

[deletedaccount30982]

paracetamol is a one way ticket to a painful survival with organ damage

 

[Cathy Ames]

Thinking about ODing on paracetamol as it's the easiest thing I can think of but don't think it's a nice way to go.

Aside from how long it takes and how horrible it is, you can survive or be "saved" to live on with major liver/kidney problems.

 

[Whole-Ad]

Sorry to hear this. If things were going well what's changed ? If you chose recovery what made you choose recovery?

Things were just going better. Felt happier and stuff now my mood has dropped again it's just one big cycle so what's the point? I want out and I want out now, I've already wasted a year waiting.

 

[lostmylove]

I also tried for a year to see if things get better. Last week the most tragic thing in my life happened. I would of hurt less people if i wasn't even born.

 

[Whole-Ad]

I also tried for a year to see if things get better. Last weak the most tragic thing in my life happened. I would of hurt less people if i wasn't even born.

I know the feeling. Everyone is better off without me anyways.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that if it was easier to leave, I would already be gone. Ctb really is so difficult after all. For me personally, the fear of failure is what holds me back. I'm sorry that you are suffering so much, I know that it can be dreadful when things just get worse. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

 

[libby]

Things were just going better. Felt happier and stuff now my mood has dropped again it's just one big cycle so what's the point? I want out and I want out now, I've already wasted a year waiting.

Has something happened to make your mood drop? I thought things were looking up when you told your parents you thought you might be trans? Why is there no point? You said you chose recovery and things were going well. There will always be time when your mood drops but that happens to people without mental health too. It's just learning to cope with it.

I know the feeling. Everyone is better off without me anyways.

How are people better off without you? I'm sure your family won't be better off. Your family sounded supportive with the trans. Do you not have support with your mental health?

Things were just going better. Felt happier and stuff now my mood has dropped again it's just one big cycle so what's the point? I want out and I want out now, I've already wasted a year waiting.

Something must of changed? You said you chose recovery so something is keeping you here

 

[libby]

How are things? Hope you are feeling a bit better today. Are you out of hospital?

 

[Whole-Ad]

How are things? Hope you are feeling a bit better today. Are you out of hospital?

No tried to leave and they put me on a section 5(4) and then a 5(2). Just had another mental health assessment which I managed to pass meaning I'm still not on a section. Just need to get off this ward without them stopping me. Think I'm just gonna jump off a bridge instead. Easiest way for me.

 

[libby]

No tried to leave and they put me on a section 5(4) and then a 5(2). Just had another mental health assessment which I managed to pass meaning I'm still not on a section. Just need to get off this ward without them stopping me. Think I'm just gonna jump off a bridge instead. Easiest way for me.

What's the difference between being on a section and not being on a section? I don't understand. Can they stop you leaving?

 

[libby]

Hi how are things? Hoping you haven't ctb as you've not posted on here

 

[Whole-Ad]

Hi how are things? Hoping you haven't ctb as you've not posted on here

Still feeling really shitty and can't wait to go.

 

[libby]

Still feeling really shitty and can't wait to go.

Why you feeling shitty? Something must of changed. If you chose recovery why you now changed your mind?

 

[Whole-Ad]

Why you feeling shitty? Something must of changed. If you chose recovery why you now changed your mind?

Because there is no point in choosing recovery. I feel like a completely different person to who I used to be. I've lost all my confidence. I don't see any future. I'm just completely trapped and for some reason people struggle to see that. No matter what I do, its always wrong. I'm a burden to everyone around me and then to top it of, I got officially diagnosed with autism so none of this can or will change. I'm 22 years old and I'm already fed up. Sick of having negative thoughts all the time and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I'm really struggling but everyone around me thinks I'm doing okay.

 

[libby]

Because there is no point in choosing recovery. I feel like a completely different person to who I used to be. I've lost all my confidence. I don't see any future. I'm just completely trapped and for some reason people struggle to see that. No matter what I do, its always wrong. I'm a burden to everyone around me and then to top it of, I got officially diagnosed with autism so none of this can or will change. I'm 22 years old and I'm already fed up. Sick of having negative thoughts all the time and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I'm really struggling but everyone around me thinks I'm doing okay.

That's so sad that you feel you are a different person. You aren't different you are just having a hard time. What do you do wrong? Do your friends and family say you are a burden? That's so unfair of them. I bet just being diagnosed with autism was a shock. There's no cure for it and it's a case of learning to live with it and that's hard.
It is hard having negative thoughts. I was once like you (don't have autism) and I was in a real bad place. I found opening up and talking really helped. Do you have talking therapy? I never thought it would help but it did. Why do people think you are ok? Is it because you say you are? You need to tell someone you aren't ok. It's ok not to be ok. I was all for ending it then decided I would try to get better. I'm so glad I did as otherwise I wouldn't be here now. I know it feels there is no option other than ctb but there is. I thought I had no future but now I see I have. I am in a much better place now and I'm sure you could be too if you speak out to someone.