Since you'll be in the US, id want to go to Yellowstone, just to see the nature and wildlife before I go. Animals have always been a fixation of mine and if I ever got over my fear of heights, id want to jump in a place where my body could be put to use for new life and away from others.
I also wouldve loved to seen the aurora borealis, I was never much of a city person but historical sites might be interesting. I live in VA and would reccomend even just walking through Old Town
Oh, yes...I forgot about unique sights. I also love historical artifacts. Someone who is so far away now touched this regularly. They had a whole life with this putting this face cream on every morning and night, and now I'm holding it. Sometimes we don't even know who these people were. But they were here.
I'm sorry life has brought you to this point, I hope you find peace. If places like Los Angeles, maybe New York might be nice. Maybe The Four Corners monument.
I've always wanted to visit big cities because my town is tiny tiny. I know they are gross because of all the trash and mysterious stuff on the ground, but w.e...? I can't even take an adult dance class here. Like...c'mon.
I'm sorry, too. I was born into a family where one person wanted me out of 5 -- my father. Who forced my mother to accept the pregnancy and give birth. My brother and sisters abused the fuck out of me. I have suffered so much and so thoroughly that when my dog died, I was looking for any way to blame myself. I've been hypervigilant for a few years now. To the point that I had been doomsaying the whole time. I stopped after my dog died. For years, I felt something terrible was going to happen but I didn't know what. Then my dog died, and it went away. I'm not saying I'm psychic. But I'm just a brain. I got overwhelmed.
My dog dying made me want to leave so bad that for the first time, I wasn't afraid to be homeless. I've avoided leaving for that reason. I'm miserable and abused here. But out there? There's worse things. Much worse things. It's the devil you know that gets you. I should have left a long time ago. I had plans and plans and plans and where did they go? Nowhere. While I made more plans to not pursue.
I was testing strangulation by just seeing where I should put pressure...and I cried. When I tightened the shoestring, I just felt overwhelmingly sad. It's just so sad. I had so much hope and desperation for anything good to happen. My mom briefly took me to church in middle school because I was sinning. I would only pray for happiness. I don't expect happiness ever, now. The best I can hope for myself is to be able to live through low moments without being devastated by them. But I'm so tired, and I don't want any more low moments.
Honestly, low EI motherfuckers who say stupid shit like, "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." So you're saying all your problems have been temporary? NEXT.
Suicide prevention puts too much focus on stopping the singular moment of suicide. It's a mental health INDUSTRY. The suffering is the profit.
