Venting Id like to quit life

[patpat]

I'd like to quit life. I'm breaking over and over and over and it never stops. I'm trapped. I'm stuck in a job that's so hard on my body and mind it's crushing me.
I got a great bf but he doesn't get it. To everyone I'm just a happy go lucky(short temper when in pain)
Even when I'm happy I still don't wanna be here.
I love myself but still fantisze about dying.

 

[SomewhatLoved]

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling like this. Life is anything but fair and no one should have to go through this. What exactly are you struggling with? You talk about breaking and being in pain, are you facing illness?

 

[Vorty30]

+ 1

 

[kitkat9234]

I feel the same. Trapped.

 

[patpat]

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling like this. Life is anything but fair and no one should have to go through this. What exactly are you struggling with? You talk about breaking and being in pain, are you facing illness?

I'm a normal blue collar worker. (Lab cleaner)Under staffed under paid, doing 3 peoples jobs. So my feet are in so much pain all the time. My heart is so heavy, it feels like I'm being broken up with but I'm not. I got a great bf. He makes me safe but also trapped to living. Mentally I've just got the big sad but the forever kind that no amount of therapy can cure.

I cope with nihilism and over eating.
I hope that if I do just die out of nowhere people would be like "she'd love this, she doesn't mind" I've attempted lot in the past I tell people openly that "I don't wanna be alive. I'm just not gonna try to die" although I may do it, who knows.

 

[nowherelilies]

I'm a normal blue collar worker. (Lab cleaner)Under staffed under paid, doing 3 peoples jobs. So my feet are in so much pain all the time. My heart is so heavy, it feels like I'm being broken up with but I'm not. I got a great bf. He makes me safe but also trapped to living. Mentally I've just got the big sad but the forever kind that no amount of therapy can cure.

I cope with nihilism and over eating.
I hope that if I do just die out of nowhere people would be like "she'd love this, she doesn't mind" I've attempted lot in the past I tell people openly that "I don't wanna be alive. I'm just not gonna try to die" although I may do it, who knows.

i'm sorry i don't have words for comfort but i just wanna say i really feel your pain i had this moment where i had everything good – a fulltime job, a loving & supportive set of friends, the apartment i've been dreaming of. things that i thought would make me happy once i reach it but still, the suicidal ideations never left. it also makes me feel terrible because i'm aware these are the things that are supposed to make me want to keep living but i still want to CTB regardless. i think this sadness will follow me my whole life and no amount of support or help will be enough to diminish it.