I would much rather die than "get better"

[lighthousekeeper]

Even if my life were perfect I think I would need to die. I can hardly do anything, I rely on others for so much because I can't seem to learn how things work. I would never be able to stop draining everyone around me all the time as long as I live. Nobody actually wants to be around me.

 

[lostangel]

I feel you as I don't see why I should get better? Just to participate in the rat race, 9-5 wage slave. I'll be lucky if I can retire at 70. Housing prices are getting worse around me, people are awful, my mental health will just fall again. It all seems like pointless suffering.

 

[sadworld]

I feel the same, there is nothing to live for, if i keep on living i will just work till im dead. I don't have any friends, I don't have fun in life. Everyone is literally indirectly telling me to ctb.

 

[wanttodie]

me to I feel the same there is nothing to live for,

 

[_Kaira_]

I'll be lucky if I can retire at 70.

I feel like a lot of people, including myself, wouldn't even get the chance to retire even if we did live to an old age. A perfect life for me doesn't exist, cause it wouldn't be possible even if I did try my hardest to earn it. Other than that, there's no point to it all. Can't take money to the grave, it only makes you comfortable while you await the inevitable. All that matters is the next generation, after all, we are a part of the animal kingdom. Sad to say, the future is looking grim in more ways than one if you take one look at society. I do not really want to contribute towards the cycle. Thus there's no real point even if things were considered 'perfect'.

 

[It'sNotLookingGood]

Even if my life were perfect I think I would need to die.

I pretty much feel this way too, and kinda feel a little guilty about it. But I just don't like life - it's too much hard work, I can't handle it. Even when I do handle aspects okay, it takes such great stress/strain/discomfort/effort (etc.) to do so, that I'm unhappy still.

Dying seems much easier than living: I just wanna fold my cards, take my L

 

[Lilacmoon]

I hate and fear and despise myself so much that even if my life was perfect and wonderful I would still need to die to at least make things better for everyone else.

 

[voidman]

I think of it as cutting my losses. Quitting while I'm ahead, if you will. I feel like things can only get worse at this point, so why not just end it sooner rather than later? Who wants to endure years of suffering only to die alone and be forgotten? Plus I will never be able to love myself or be loved so what is the point?

 

[Taki]

Even if my life were perfect I think I would need to die. I can hardly do anything, I rely on others for so much because I can't seem to learn how things work. I would never be able to stop draining everyone around me all the time as long as I live. Nobody actually wants to be around me.

I absolutely understand

 

[Mr2005]

Then why are you here? Point is you were able to do that much for yourself, I wasn't and it might have saved my life.

 

[allym101]

I've never had control about anything in my life. For once I'll be in control of something. I'm tired of people telling me that this is just a phase and what not, just let me rest. I wish people would stop interfering with this.

 

[Antigonish]

Even if my life were perfect I think I would need to die. I can hardly do anything, I rely on others for so much because I can't seem to learn how things work. I would never be able to stop draining everyone around me all the time as long as I live. Nobody actually wants to be around me.

For me I honestly feel there isn't any getting better. I'm just prolonging time, I got till 28, I feel like I can make it. Like a presidential election...
four more years, four more years!!!

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Not to sound like a parrot, but I feel the same. I always feel like even if things are going my way then I don't deserve it. That doubt will always be there knowing I can have it all taken away. A perfect life for me would inevitably lead to suffering and unhappiness somewhere else in the world.

 

[Antigonish]

Not to sound like a parrot, but I feel the same. I always feel like even if things are going my way then I don't deserve it. That doubt will always be there knowing I can have it all taken away. A perfect life for me would inevitably lead to suffering and unhappiness somewhere else in the world.

My friend you are definitely not a parrot, you're much needed support. A sign that maybe it's okay to not be okay. And we aren't the only ones who feel that way. Because society definitely knows how to alienate us, and make it our own fault.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

My friend you are definitely not a parrot, you're much needed support. A sign that maybe it's okay to not be okay. And we aren't the only ones who feel that way. Because society definitely knows how to alienate us, and make it our own fault.

Aww Thanks. I don't know if society is to blame in my case, but maybe?

 

[262653]

It's not certain how many of our predecessors have enjoyed their lives more than not, but it's certain that all of our predecessors have lived for long enough to reproduce.

 

[SHThrowAway213]

I have tried and failed to get better.
Tried getting therapy and was told I was not in the right mindset for it.
The NHS has failed me.

 

[muffin222]

I can relate. I often feel this way as well. All roads in my life seem to lead back to intense suffering, even attempts at recovery

 

[sourpink]

yeah, same here. even if I could commit to recovery I'd die of complications anyway because I've been slowly destroying my body for so long. even if I could erase all that damage, even erase all trauma and all dx's... still not worth it. I'm just done. checkout please.

 

[Borntodie29]

Likewise.. I've tried time & again. Got help. Then it's okay for a while and it feels like things are looking up. There's some progress too but somehow it always circles back to me wanting to end things.

 

[TripleA]

Me to

 

[Soulless Angel]

I've given up trying to get better, every time I get somewere I get get dragged straight back to hell again

 

[RedundantRecord]

I agree on rather dying than to "get better", albeit for different reasons which I'll proceed to explain in length here to support my point of not wanting to supposedly improve according to most others by being happier with the status quo.
Whereas many want meaning in relation to others, that the joy of others without more burdening has a dependency on them, that significance is had for the upholding of the status quo, I wish for meaning towards change of the status quo. I'm aware that on a fundamental level this change I desire is an incompatibility with existence as there cannot be meaning with it independently from consumption of experiences for the sake of continues entertainment in itself, but there can be a meaningful absence of experiences that amounts to meaningless punishment, making CTB my best move to achieve not being and not experiencing as my ideal.
Universally I think applying non-existence sooner rather than later would be the ideal course of action for humanity and any other sentient entities, secondarily I think technological advancement towards general AI can induce large change in regards to the power over the management of society, potentially having AI taking the upper hand to minimize suffering and maximize pleasure or entirely eradicate humanity in its benevolent goal, the latter being often regarded as an obstacle to overcome that's likely an inevitable con with making AI instead of seeing the outcomes as preferable to the previous status quo either way.
Society tends to pressure, belittle, condemn and oppress whoever speaks critically of life or about anything in support of CTB since society gains nothing from having fewer slave-like workers and consumers, accepting allowance for any kind of disbandment which is also on the expense of society's blind assertion of "sacred" or "precious" intrinsic value in all human life is not beneficial to the principles promoting only that which has the need machine of life unquestioned, faultily rationalized at large and kept running.
Adhering to this framework is to me something disgusting that's of no interest, it has no respect for me and I have none for it.

 

[eve2004]

I hate to say it but the pandemic, being socially isolated for 18 months (I live alone, have not seen any friend in 18 months), I absolutely want to die NOW... I cannot even get healthcare, even when I pay it's shitty, frankly, negligent both consults I had...

I have reached a point where I don't even understand how ANYONE has the will to live....

 

[LakatosDiogenesz]

For the truly unfortunate, "getting better" is nothing more than denying the truth. Many lives are simply not worth living and the only way to continue them is to be blind. That's what normal people do every day.

 

[FuneralCry]

I can relate. Being this way is simply who I am, suicidal thoughts are a part of me and have been for a long time. I do not really want to change either, I see living as pointless and tedious. I would rather just fall into an eternal sleep. Existence is just suffering for the sake of it.

 

[Deleted member 8579]

It all seems like pointless suffering.

Sometimes things are what they seem.