I would have wanted to die even if I had everything I ever wanted.

[pleaseletmeperish]

Once, I did have some of what I covet now. Some money, lots of thick hair, prospects in life, a happy family. But even then I was depressed. I was angry at myself and the world. I was in pain. I was anxious. I was suicidal. I always have been.

Some people are meant to die by their own hand even if their lives have everything the world deems important to have. I considered myself one of them, even when I had a life that seemed good. And now that I have lost everything? I know it for sure; I am not meant to live long.

Only I can change the course of my life. And I don't want to. I want to end it. And I will.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

Basically the same here. It doesn't matter what I happen to have or achieve or not, it just feels wrong for me to be here, and I don't want to be here.

 

[Douggy82]

It's the opposite for me. Without an extreme lack of moneyhealth, I have no need to ctb.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

i would never want to live / exist / be conscious under any circumstances. i despise evil life and this evil prison world and want nothing from it but to exit it asap.

non-existence forever is the antithesis of life and this evil world, so non-existence forever is the ultimate bliss

only in life can one suffer so bad it's a trillion times worse than you can imagine

eternal non-existence is the only guarantee of never suffering so bad it's a trillion times worse than the worst you can imagine . non-existence forever is the only guaranteed of never suffering never any unbearable pain never any problems no bad memories ever. therefore permanent non-existence is the only perfection.

life: you have to work so hard every day a job and chores being a slave , just to be a slave , exist under threat of extreme torture . all to continue to be a slave , get old and be tortured by old age some disease or other nightmare. but they tell us non-existence is the bad thing .

what is life ? cells, chemical reactions ,a machine . what am i ? cells, chemical reactions, a machine, a bug, an animal , a brain that can suffer unending constant unbearable pain . and they repeatedly tell us that is something beautiful

 

[FuneralCry]

I just wish to be gone as well, I just want to never suffer ever again, I'll always and only wish to not exist no matter what, I hope that you find the relief you search for, I wish you the best.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I feel the same way. I have had everything I've always wanted and still suffered from episodes of major depression. I'm 55 now, lost my youth and getting health issues. I want to die more than ever. My brain is broke. I was never meant for this life

 

[betternever2havbeen]

Yeah I feel the same-there is nothing in this world I want. Offer me anything and I'd say "meh" because nothing I want is within the realm of reality. I wouldn't even want to be someone who has the most blessed life. I can't make myself be like them and enjoy it. It all seems so pointless and meaningless. I also know that stuff like that doesn't solve anything because you're still you, with a great big void inside. Well speaking for myself anyway, but that's why so many rich and famous people are often still miserable.

This planet is just so boring and dull to me. My whole life has been escapism and trying to get away from reality. I even dabbled in the occult as a teenager just desperate for something exciting to happen. Ofc it never did! I just find life so mind-numbing. I must be completely missing the dopamine other people get from life. When I think about being gone and forgetting all about this world and never having to hear all the horrific stuff happening on this planet THAT'S when I get a wave of relief and peace...and having control over when and where it happens is something not many people get so I'm thankful I have that option there when/if I need it. Just a matter of killing time and getting through the days for now, but there is no joy whatsoever.