I won't react but

[Insomniac]

I live alone with my little sister while my mom has been away for more than 6 month (hospitalised in another country due to cancer).

- My mom is almost 70 years old. Spent more than 300k on her hospitalisation. My little sister is not sure she'll be able to afford college. I live in a third world country with shitty health insurance so mom is paying her hospitalisation out of pocket.

- My dad spent more than 30k this year on lawyers because he is a drunk who keeps getting sued for various damages he makes. He lives alone in his appartment.

- My mom, desperate, accepted my father's financial help a month ago and he came back to live with us.

- this led to me stabbing my leg and losing my ability to walk for a while. My father has started traumatising my sister and I again with his drinking and he hires people to change our door locks so we can't lock ourself away in our rooms from him.

- my mom, who is in France, is acting like my sister and I are overreacting. Because she so desperately needs money for her hospitalisation, she decided to sell what's left of our sanity to our dad.

- I kicked my dad out yesterday night by calling our neighbours. They forced my dad to return to his appartment by threatening to call the police because he exclusively drive while drunk and keep hitting their cars. They know how horrible our dad is. They also saw how wounded I was because of him. They're also afraid that our dad will hit their children on the street while drunk driving.

- my mom had asked my aunt to come stay with us while she was away. My aunt was nice at first but started backstabbing me by taking my stuff and gifting it to her kids and grandkids. My phone had issues and my mom ordered me an iPhone some time ago. But my aunt kept it and said it was temporary because her phone wasn't working. Then my mom sent her money to buy a new phone. She bought a new phone and told me my mom allowed her to send my phone to her grandkid who so "desperately" wanted an iphone. She said it innocently like I shouldn't be upset over a phone since she is so much poorer than us.

I usually start throwing things when I'm angry. Breaking things, burning thing, hurting myself etc but...

I refrained myself from reacting when I heard about the phone. I'll be calm from now on. No more drama. I'm sick, tired of it.

However my vengeance will be memorable.

 

[timf]

Holding things in can increase frustration. Rather than thrwoing things, it miught be helpful to talk with others who might understand some of what you are going through like at a ALANON meeting.

 

[LunarPyotr]

Gosh, this reminds me of my father. He lost his license like five times and somehow managed to make a new one. He always does DUi and to be honest, none of his cars lasted him longer than 1 or 2 months. His last car was a very nice 2011 Honda Civic with a lot of individual parts and according to my sister, it burned down because he somehow managed to make the starter permanently spin, the starter overheated while he was driving through the fields and the car caught fire.

And yeah, like @timf said, keeping things bottled up can lead to unwanted side effects.
I found it most relaxing to just get on my motorcycle and drive around for some time. This completely made me forget all the bs that I experienced at home.
Especially when I was riding with other people in a group. That made things like 1000% more enjoyable even if there were some jerks or new riders.

 

[Insomniac]

I found it most relaxing to just get on my motorcycle and drive around for some time.

If I do something like that, I wouldn't be able to resist the urge to crash my bike.

But yeah, it sounds really fun. Unfortunately there's no where to do that in my country. Third world countries have the shittiest roads :(