Venting I won’t be there for my younger brothers graduations

[sourcreamonion]

They were there for mine, and always get excited when they tell me they'll be able to graduate high school in two years, always talking about which college they want to go to or what major.

I'm not going to be able to see that. Everyday is getting harder and I just want to end it all, but I don't want them to be alone on their graduation day.

I feel like a useless older brother.

 

[iwantpeace]

why dont you wait just to see them graduating?

 

[sourcreamonion]

why dont you wait just to see them graduating?

I mean I could try, but there's a high chance I'll CTB by then.

 

[FriendofDeath]

It's going to be tough on them, no matter what your choice. Did you go to college after graduation? Can you share why you want to ctb? It sounds like you are close to your brothers. I'm sorry you find yourself in this position.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I think the biggest concern might be the effect that your suicide will have on them. You certainly have to do what's best for you and when it's best for you, but I know timing is still important to many of us - wanting to avoid people's birthdays or special events or things like that. Even if you wait till after their HS graduation, that could affect their transition to college. It's very tough with younger siblings. :-(

Do they know that you're depressed?

One counterpoint: no matter how hard it might be for them, they won't be alone at their graduation. They'll have each other.

Sounds like you really love them. Good on you for being such a thoughtful older brother. Don't feel bad about anything.

 

[miguel6565]

I feel the same way,my brother is still young and i love him but i cant keep on,i hate myself.

 

[InterstateFlowers]

You're not alone feeling like a useless older sibling. I love my little sister more than anything yet I doubt I'll live long enough to see her graduate.