Venting I wish I had better parents. Or if I can't then I wish I wasn't born then.

[zombiekitty]

I got a deadbeat dad and codependent paranoid toxic mother, whom I can't move away from because she has health conditions too (hypertension, panic anxiety) I just want a proper family. That's what I need the most. I want to live but I can't stand her anymore, accusing me of things I didn't do when all my major life decisions were decided by her needs . I feel trapped and suicide seems to be the only way out. I'm so grateful I found this forum.

 

[Slimetae]

I feel you I feel like I lost the genetic roll of dice everything pretty much is bad and probably not going to get better but I hope it do for u

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

That's where your primal wiring happens. My parents were from a generation that feared more then anything "spoiling" - so no whining, complaining, crying or sharing negative emotions. From infancy, you learn to shut down and disconnect. You learn to please. You lose track of how you feel. You end up lost. Life is movie you're watching with ironic detachment. From the sidelines.

 

[LittleJem]

Me too. I'm in my 40s. I've been dreaming of a new family all day. I'm sorry you have to live with your mother.

I wish we could all find a new family somehow! Like a website to find yourself a new family....Maybe it is a good idea, but the issue is that scammers would take advantage of it...

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really unbearable what you are going through and I'm sorry that you are in this situation, I can imagine that it must be really awful to feel so trapped. I wish you the best in whatever happens and I hope you find relief from your suffering.

 

[Niko66]

I relate a lot, if I could change one thing about my life it would be the parents I was born with, I think with good parents I could have been mostly normal instead this husk of a person full of issues. They ruined any chances I had in life.