Venting I wish I had an easy way out

[onedayiwill]

Hi, I'm A.


Just a small rant. I just graduated with a useless degree here in the US. The job market is terrible — no job after sending out over 1,000 applications. I have no hope left.

I come from a poor family and had to take on a lot of loans to afford my education. Now I can't even look my parents in the face. I feel like I've completely let them down.

I'm trying really hard to fight off suicidal thoughts, but it's exhausting. I lost my part-time job, and I'll be homeless in three months if nothing changes.

I've lived my whole life without friends. I am a lazy, fat, ugly loser. The only peace I find is by playing my old ps3. The only thing stopping me from ending it all is my parents — but I don't know how much longer I can hold on.

I just want this anxiety — this feeling of being a complete failure — to stop.

My only wish is that I could be involved in an accident or get a deadly illness (I'm sorry if that sounds disrespectful to real victims), just so I could leave this world in peace, hoping my family wouldn't think I was weak.

 

[DivineSpark]

Yup, thats reality, there is no easy way out. Survival instinct is very strong.

 

[EmptyBottle]

I had a similar fear of failure, not sure if it will be overcome but I'm trying
PS: Have someone review your cover letter and application, there may be improvements that can land u a job.

 

[onedayiwill]

Yup, thats reality, there is no easy way out. Survival instinct is very strong.

true, I guess the people who overcame that instinct are actually strong in weird way

I had a similar fear of failure, not sure if it will be overcome but I'm trying
PS: Have someone review your cover letter and application, there may be improvements that can land u a job.

I had a similar fear of failure, not sure if it will be overcome but I'm trying
PS: Have someone review your cover letter and application, there may be improvements that can land u a job.

I even paid for this so called recruitment companies yet no results

 

[Dejected 55]

I've told people before that if there were an "easy button" to end things, I would have pushed it a long time ago, and I would be rapid-fire pressing it constantly right now.