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TiredTurtle

TiredTurtle

Member
Oct 29, 2023
99
I really wish that I didn't have to die, I have tried everything I possibly can for years and reached out for help in every way possible and been treated with nothing but abuse and neglect by those who were trusted to help me.

The only reason I'm still alive is because I'm trying a few more last ditch attempts to salvage what little is left of my life as I prepare to ctb.

If these last attempts fail then I can die knowing I tried absolutely everything possible in my power to keep going but I think deep down I know recovery is nothing but a fantasy but I still have to try and fight for that 1% chance.

I'm ashamed to still be alive and still searching for the right method here, I feel as though I should have died months ago.
 
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Unknown21

Unknown21

The past never dies. Forever 22.
Apr 25, 2023
1,084
Me too, I like some aspects of life but it's not worth suffering all this. I think I don't have a chance, it's just a matter of time.
 
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T

Traveller12724

Experienced
May 14, 2024
264
I really wish that I didn't have to die, I have tried everything I possibly can for years and reached out for help in every way possible and been treated with nothing but abuse and neglect by those who were trusted to help me.

The only reason I'm still alive is because I'm trying a few more last ditch attempts to salvage what little is left of my life as I prepare to ctb.

If these last attempts fail then I can die knowing I tried absolutely everything possible in my power to keep going but I think deep down I know recovery is nothing but a fantasy but I still have to try and fight for that 1% chance.

I'm ashamed to still be alive and still searching for the right method here, I feel as though I should have died months ago.
I am sorry you find yourself on these shores my friend, I have to die too even though I don't want to so I feel your pain, I understand. Don't be ashamed, you tried to give yourself a chance, you left no stone unturned, you should hold your head high and be proud of the effort you put in to try and save yourself. It may not have worked but at least you put up a fight, best of luck to you my friend!!
 
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pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
3,492
Yes, every new day alive feels like a statement "pro life" which I didn't want to make.

I Agree.
Also If I partake in any of their activities
 
D

Dayrain

Arcanist
Feb 3, 2023
486
I understand, but it hasn't to be "their" activities. It can be any activity. What I meant was is that simply to exist feels like a "vote" for life to me and that feels disgusting.
Also If I partake in any of their activities
 
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pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
3,492
I understand, but it hasn't to be "their" activities. It can be any activity. What I meant was is that simply to exist feels like a "vote" for life to me and that feels disgusting.
Yeah me too. Imo all activities are theirs except for my goals which is suicide asap. Of course I have to do a lot of things like eat sleep chores work but that's only cause I haven't killed myself yet. I hate doing all that garbage
 
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D

Daryl72

Student
Mar 12, 2024
161
I am sorry you find yourself on these shores my friend, I have to die too even though I don't want to so I feel your pain, I understand. Don't be ashamed, you tried to give yourself a chance, you left no stone unturned, you should hold your head high and be proud of the effort you put in to try and save yourself. It may not have worked but at least you put up a fight, best of luck to you my friend!!
This is how I feel as well. I've given all the fight I can, and now I have no choice. As long as I can find a way,.I'm more than ready to exit this cruel world.
 
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L

lizzywizzy09

Arcanist
May 11, 2024
462
I realized too little too late what I had to lose. Fought like hell but could no longer fix it. Can't live with either the guilt, regret or consequences.
 
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C

Coffeandamug

Words are quite useless, and so am I.
Oct 22, 2020
171
Me too, I like some aspects of life but it's not worth suffering all this. I think I don't have a chance, it's just a matter of time.
Feel the same way. There are things that I like in life but what is causing my suffering has no cure and I can't take it anymore
 
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D

Daryl72

Student
Mar 12, 2024
161
Feel the same way. There are things that I like in life but what is causing my suffering has no cure and I can't take it anymore
Same here, simply can't take it anymore. The emotional and mental torture has become far more than I can handle. I've reached out to all the services I can, but with the level of severe metal illness I'm dealing with, I don't see any way out except death.
 
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Reactions: Hotsackage and Unknown21

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