I wish i could be a narcissist

[Playingwiththedead]

I have been hurt by just about everyone thats ever been important to me, i wish i could flip the script on them. I wish i could be as smart and agile with my thinking as to know the perfect ways to lie and manipulate and have the perfect image to fit any person i meet so that i am respected by everyone and nobody ever knows who i really am/ will ever have access to my real self to hurt. Our society encourages these kinds of people, youre taught to put on a mask and lie and thats how you get to the top, instead of being traumatized and given cptsd i wish i couldve developed narcissism so i could have the natural thought process of a person like that and be able to move through life as easily and pretty as they do. I was raised in a way that made me the most vulnerable of targets and the easiest to pick on. I am tired of telling the truth because my truth is getting me taken advantage of in every which way and i always end up getting humiliated in front of everybody. I am too far through life to be able to suddenly change how i am perceived, so now i just want to be forgotten by everyone when i die. I was constantly misinterpreted and not taken seriously so everyone sees me as a clumsy mess and i dont want there to be any memory of that person, thats not who i was but it will be impossible for me to be remembered by most any other way

 

[Jonah Byrde]

no good deed goes unpunished

 

[SleepyCanet]

I have been hurt by just about everyone thats ever been important to me, i wish i could flip the script on them. I wish i could be as smart and agile with my thinking as to know the perfect ways to lie and manipulate and have the perfect image to fit any person i meet so that i am respected by everyone and nobody ever knows who i really am/ will ever have access to my real self to hurt. Our society encourages these kinds of people, youre taught to put on a mask and lie and thats how you get to the top, instead of being traumatized and given cptsd i wish i couldve developed narcissism so i could have the natural thought process of a person like that and be able to move through life as easily and pretty as they do. I was raised in a way that made me the most vulnerable of targets and the easiest to pick on. I am tired of telling the truth because my truth is getting me taken advantage of in every which way and i always end up getting humiliated in front of everybody. I am too far through life to be able to suddenly change how i am perceived, so now i just want to be forgotten by everyone when i die. I was constantly misinterpreted and not taken seriously so everyone sees me as a clumsy mess and i dont want there to be any memory of that person, thats not who i was but it will be impossible for me to be remembered by most any other way

As a narcissist, no you don't, there's this common misconception that us narcissists are psychopaths and don't care and hurt prople for fun but in reality our nervous system is extremely wired against criticism and anything insulting our sense of self, where stuff goes south is the lack of empathy and fake self confidence which allows us to bite back at people to feel better about ourselves. But we never do and rejection and criticism are for example something that made me puke at times or have panic attacks/derealization, because of a simple "u talk too much" or anything like that

 

[Somewhat Suicidal]

I have been hurt by just about everyone thats ever been important to me, i wish i could flip the script on them. I wish i could be as smart and agile with my thinking as to know the perfect ways to lie and manipulate and have the perfect image to fit any person i meet so that i am respected by everyone and nobody ever knows who i really am/ will ever have access to my real self to hurt. Our society encourages these kinds of people, youre taught to put on a mask and lie and thats how you get to the top, instead of being traumatized and given cptsd i wish i couldve developed narcissism so i could have the natural thought process of a person like that and be able to move through life as easily and pretty as they do. I was raised in a way that made me the most vulnerable of targets and the easiest to pick on. I am tired of telling the truth because my truth is getting me taken advantage of in every which way and i always end up getting humiliated in front of everybody. I am too far through life to be able to suddenly change how i am perceived, so now i just want to be forgotten by everyone when i die. I was constantly misinterpreted and not taken seriously so everyone sees me as a clumsy mess and i dont want there to be any memory of that person, thats not who i was but it will be impossible for me to be remembered by most any other way

This sounds indeed like the description of a psychopath, which in social media is often framed as a narcissist for some reason.
Actually simply because it's one those words what just has been led totally ad absurdum ever since clinical speech became en vogue to be used by people that are absolutely clueless about what the term even means and use it to virtue signal and frame themselves as victims. other prominent examples include but aren't limited to "abuse", "depression" and "trauma" (not saying real occurrences of any of these are invalid, but rather invalidated by the inflational trivialisation of these words by clueless people).