I will try to get better but if not I'll kill myself

[anyoneshorizon]

Some days are worse than others some weeks are better than most. I'm very tired of feeling this way like many of you. I still feel shameful for wanting to kill myself since I am healthy, young, and so privileged in this life. So I decided with nothing to lose I would try and better myself completing stepping out of my comfort zone. Working out, trying to get money, getting into more physical hobbies, going out more. Motivation isn't a problem it's more about discipline I have already been doing this for a little more than a week. If I feel like not much has changed mentally or physically and I still feel the same then I'll kill myself but at least I tried. SN is the method of choice I'll order everything within the next few weeks and keep it in a safe place. I don't have a deadline ill just do it when I feel completely hopeless.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

@anyoneshorizon that's a good idea, no one should CTB unless they are absolutely sure. I hope things improve for you.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best with what you are doing and I hope that you find relief from your suffering whether you decide to ctb or not. I understand the feeling of being tired of everything.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Some days are worse than others some weeks are better than most. I'm very tired of feeling this way like many of you. I still feel shameful for wanting to kill myself since I am healthy, young, and so privileged in this life. So I decided with nothing to lose I would try and better myself completing stepping out of my comfort zone. Working out, trying to get money, getting into more physical hobbies, going out more. Motivation isn't a problem it's more about discipline I have already been doing this for a little more than a week. If I feel like not much has changed mentally or physically and I still feel the same then I'll kill myself but at least I tried. SN is the method of choice I'll order everything within the next few weeks and keep it in a safe place. I don't have a deadline ill just do it when I feel completely hopeless.

That sounds like a damn good plan. You owe it to yourself to try everything in your power to get better, find some happiness, have a life if at all possible. The option to ctb is always there should things not work out. You're the most important person in your world (well, unless you have kids, I guess), so you should exhaust all possibilities to make things better for yourself. Kudos to you and good luck.

 

[hexesandcurses]

I hope things work out for you!! I think it's amazing that you're trying to better yourself and I wish you all the best! If you have even the slightest want to live, I think it's worth pursuing. You're going to do great!

 

[Sniffer]

Keep fighting until the end. It will give you peace if you make your decision knowing you have the best that you could. Hoping things improve for you!