Hi everyone. I'm new.
My dad committed suicide when I was six. My mom found him in the basement when we were in the bath upstairs. She was going down to check the laundry. I didn't know it was suicide until I was a teenager. I found out she'd been worried he was going to kill me and my sister too. I read the note he left behind, and it burned itself into my brain.
I feel like it's always been my destiny to follow the same path. My dad was 35 at the time. I never thought I would outlive him. I've tried to outrun it for years.
I got a cat when I was 22 and in the darkest hours, she was my reason to keep going. Well, now I'm 37. I've outlived my father like I never thought I would. My cat is 15 and could die any day. My husband and I are infertile, and I can't imagine living this empty life of pain for years to come.
I feel like it's the universe telling me my time here is done. Like everything is wrapping up. No child to leave behind. Soon no cat. A sign that there is no more purpose for me on this planet.
is there anyone that can relate to any of this?
My dad committed suicide when I was six. My mom found him in the basement when we were in the bath upstairs. She was going down to check the laundry. I didn't know it was suicide until I was a teenager. I found out she'd been worried he was going to kill me and my sister too. I read the note he left behind, and it burned itself into my brain.
I feel like it's always been my destiny to follow the same path. My dad was 35 at the time. I never thought I would outlive him. I've tried to outrun it for years.
I got a cat when I was 22 and in the darkest hours, she was my reason to keep going. Well, now I'm 37. I've outlived my father like I never thought I would. My cat is 15 and could die any day. My husband and I are infertile, and I can't imagine living this empty life of pain for years to come.
I feel like it's the universe telling me my time here is done. Like everything is wrapping up. No child to leave behind. Soon no cat. A sign that there is no more purpose for me on this planet.
is there anyone that can relate to any of this?
