Venting I Was Never Meant To Be Here

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

Every action I've taken has culminated in a giant crescendo of screwing up. I keep allowing the years to pass me by, and I'm not even sure why. I don't think you have to be born for a reason; you may decide that for yourself.

But I get the impression that I'm putting all this effort into portraying my life as some sort of clique tragedy.

I'm aware of it. I can still hear that voice in the back of my head saying, "What are you doing? What's the purpose of this?" But I'm compelled to do it. My thoughts are gone. I'll continue this repetition.

Perhaps I have invested so much faith in the idea that I am unworthy of life that it has taken on the status of my reality.



(I may update this in the future, I may not)

 

[Rational man]

We made choices and we cant change the past. Were you the target of criticism as a child. ?. I ask because my parents did not show any interest in me, effectively abandoned. Target of criticism. .

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

We made choices and we cant change the past. Were you the target of criticism as a child. ?. I ask because my parents did not show any interest in me, effectively abandoned. Target of criticism. .

Autistic child in public school? Of course.

 

[Jimblue]

Feeling same, everything failure does not matter how hard I tried.

May be my mother is right, I should never exist from beginning.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

Feeling same, everything failure does not matter how hard I tried.

May be my mother is right, I should never exist from beginning.

Or maybe your mother is just an asshole.

 

[Jimblue]

Or maybe your mother is just an asshole.

Thank you, she has prefrontal lobe damage since she was a child. She is kind of person who would stab random people on street if she decided she don't want to live. And she will definitely kill me first.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

Thank you, she has prefrontal lobe damage since she was a child. She is kind of person who would stab random people on street if she decided she don't want to live. And she will definitely kill me first.

Do you have no way of getting away from her?

 

[Jimblue]

Do you have no way of getting away from her?

I left her years ago, but PTSD and depression probably will be with me forever. This is why I ended up here.

 

[SexyIncél]

If you can find a way to get out of here, please do so. This is hell, where souls of the suffering convene & mumble our thoughts