I want to overcome my SI

[BeBraveBrother]

It is now more than a year that I found this website and I feel so glad I did, as the knowledge about the exit bag method with nitrogen has released so much pressure I had and released a lot of fear about dying in pain or agony.

I feel like my time has come, but I still have a bit of fear about failing and I feel like there is an invisiable wall inside me that is doing everything to distract me even though I am constantly clear and determined that the life I want will never happen to me.

I am thinking about how to overcome SI and the first thing I did today is to sort out and ban everything that is distracting me from the hellish life I am in.
I am absolutly sure that I want this life to end. I think I should focus on the fact, that others overcame their SI as well. SI is beatable.

 

[Ednospatient]

Alcohol doesn't remove your SI but it helps

 

[czx85]

The major reason why I didn't choose exit bag is, I'm scared that I won't be able to control myself when it comes to the end. ---- It happened in past that a guy took off the bag at last moment, and ended up becoming a "plant person" for rest of his life.
If I have to use exit bag to end this, I would seriously consider binding myself up in chair. After completing the last step and throw it on the ground, my body won't be able to stop no matter how much SI tries.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand that the SI is hard to overcome as we are programmed to survive. I have wanted to ctb for a long time and yet I am still here. I also fear failing a method and that holds me back as well. I think in my case, one day I will reach a point of complete desperation and then I will exit this world. I'm sorry you are suffering, this life is certainly a hell. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[tryingtoescape]

Focusing on the fact that others have overcome Si is really helpful for me too. Si is beatable.

I try to find cases where the person had strong Si before, and still did it. These are really reassuring. I can only think of a few. Does anyone know of any?

Also benzodiazepines, sleeping pills, and a list of reasons.

 

[Tamz]

I'm wishing for the same thing... I struggle with it a bit too...

 

[hʚll]

meds helps. but also keep constantly reminding yourself the reason why you wanna die. you can write them down, and read them whenever the si comes. and to see it like a battle against the enemy "life " helps too. you can do it !!!

 

[BeBraveBrother]

The major reason why I didn't choose exit bag is, I'm scared that I won't be able to control myself when it comes to the end. ---- It happened in past that a guy took off the bag at last moment, and ended up becoming a "plant person" for rest of his life.
If I have to use exit bag to end this, I would seriously consider binding myself up in chair. After completing the last step and throw it on the ground, my body won't be able to stop no matter how much SI tries.

Do you have the source for this information?
I only do have medical reports from medicals journals that report exit bag suicides that suceeded. But it would be good to know if there is valid report about unsucessfull attempts in order to take meassures to prevent that.

 

[fox_wannabe]

I just try to hang myself like 4 times and I failed because of SI I want to cry.

 

[BeBraveBrother]

meds helps. but also keep constantly reminding yourself the reason why you wanna die. you can write them down, and read them whenever the si comes. and to see it like a battle against the enemy "life " helps too. you can do it !!!

Yeah, that's the key, I think. I had to habituate so long in the unbearable circumstancers that I somehow got stuck in this "swampy bubble" that is my life.