I want to do this but I am afraid to cause suffering

[исчезающий]

I've been feeling good lately until I started talking more often with my mom, dad and some friends ...


Even so, I feel an incessant need to practice ctb

My mother told me that she stopped doing many things to take care of me. Honestly, I don't want to let it hurt ... I'm sure she will have the same fate as mine when I do that. I also say the same thing about my father who works non-stop, just to meet the needs of home and family (I'm sure he too will go crazy). The real problem with this situation is that I don't want to exist anymore.

 

[darksideofthebright]

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this.

From what I see here, you are a caring and considerate person, and it also looks like your family cares for you and your well-being. On SS, we can't really encourage you to do anything, but I was wondering if you, rather than your family, had any other resources of support?

Personally, I wouldn't recommend anyone to ctb unless they have exhausted or turned to all the support they can possibly get.

 

[исчезающий]

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this.

From what I see here, you are a caring and considerate person, and it also looks like your family cares for you and your well-being. On SS, we can't really encourage you to do anything, but I was wondering if you, rather than your family, had any other resources of support?

Personally, I wouldn't recommend anyone to ctb unless they have exhausted or turned to all the support they can possibly get.

I actually never had any professional help or anything, but my mom was doing a lot of things to make me happy again, but I can't be happy ..

The only thing I have left is to study to graduate in something decent, but there is still a chance to fail.

 

[darksideofthebright]

I actually never had any professional help or anything, but my mom was doing a lot of things to make me happy again, but I can't be happy ..

The only thing I have left is to study to graduate in something decent, but there is still a chance to fail.

Okay, I will probably put it this way (metaphorically): The bus will always be there, for you and only you, and you can catch the bus whenever you want. We are all adults here and I cannot stop you if you are determined to do so.

But as I said, the bus will always be there, so how about for now, you give professional help a shot (Do note in mind that it is a process and it can be trials and errors before you can find someone that can help you understand your thought process). If after that, you still don't change your mind, then there is nothing any of us can do other than respecting your decision.

And yes, you said that there was a chance to fail. But also remember that, the worst possible outcome is not always the most likely outcome. There are always 2 sides to a coin, and with that, there is a chance that you will NOT fail.

Just something to think about. I am not advocating for anything but for you to give it your last shot (if you will). In the mean time, I, along with many other users on SS, am here if you need a chat about anything! So feel free to shoot me, or anyone for that matter, a text if you feel comfortable to do so!

 

[catmom13]

My belief is that your personal happiness always trumps others. You are the one who lives in misery, not others. Sometimes you have to be selfish and do what provides you comfort.

But if you find a glimmer of hope or a chance of recovery no matter how small, always go to that route first.