I want to die now

[Dyingdead]

I'm in a terrifying situation where I got involved in the wrong things for the wrong reasons and for the wrong reasons. When I realised this and the potential implic. tions of it and my whole life being an illiterate recluse. I broke down. And have been crippled mentally ill and physically for months. To make matters worse. I have hypersensitivity and I'm sedentary and obese too. I never wanted any of this but I was an idiot and a terrible person. I was scared of seeking help because of possible implications. And I still am. I can't help it at all... I need help badly. I can't take it anymore. I don't even know how bad it is or weather I'm just ruminating or something but I still have to assume the worst

I can't afford a psychiatrist at all in my country. And I need to calm down and think rationally for solutions but I can't... And I'm scared of losing everything... And everyone so badly... That it pains me...I'm scared of revealing my problems to people in my place because I'm scared it would be inviting more trouble and I'd die in a terrible way

 

[theboy]

I am sorry you are going through these dark problems. If you need to talk, just send me pm. Life is very unfair

 

[Cerulea]

I'm in a terrifying situation where I got involved in the wrong things for the wrong reasons and for the wrong reasons. When I realised this and the potential implic. tions of it and my whole life being an illiterate recluse. I broke down. And have been crippled mentally ill and physically for months. To make matters worse. I have hypersensitivity and I'm sedentary and obese too. I never wanted any of this but I was an idiot and a terrible person. I was scared of seeking help because of possible implications. And I still am. I can't help it at all... I need help badly. I can't take it anymore. I don't even know how bad it is or weather I'm just ruminating or something but I still have to assume the worst

I can't afford a psychiatrist at all in my country. And I need to calm down and think rationally for solutions but I can't... And I'm scared of losing everything... And everyone so badly... That it pains me...I'm scared of revealing my problems to people in my place because I'm scared it would be inviting more trouble and I'd die in a terrible way

Lots of people do the best they can in this life with what they have and what they know. People can make terrible choices and not be terrible people. We can, at the same time, be people who deserve access to safety, health, and comfort, and we can make some absolutely rubbish choices. There's no handbook to existence. It's not as if you had access to all of linear time to make the most informed decision.

If psychotherapy is something that resonates with you, but cost is a prohibiting factor, there are truly a plethora of resources available via youtube or websites you can read to help you manage the symptoms of how your mental illness effects you. Therapy is not a cure all and does have risks associated, no doubt. But learning about how our brains work isn't a useless venture.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds very awful. It must be so hard to deal with. It's beyond horrifying how life is capable of torturing us in so many ways, it certainly is a very cruel existence. I wish you relief.

 

[makethepainstop]

I wish I could have some way to bring you peace and calm. Many people have started at point A and the next thing you know their actions, or choices lead them to point G in the twinkle of an eye. I can't believe anyone can be so misguided as to feel that actions must be saintly. Humans are a mass of conflicting emotions. I pray you to find peace. Love to you.

 

[Jimblue]

Hi dear, I am sorry that you have to been through this without any help. I used to work as support worker and I have some knowledge about psychology and mental illness. If you want to some one to talk, please feel free to PM me.