Venting i turn 24 in a couple of days.

[unnoticed]

my birthday is on the 8th, and every single year i can't shake the feeling i am NOT supposed to have lived as long as i have. i've spent the last 3 of my birthdays alone and sobbing in my bed, feeling overwhelmingly confused and trapped simply by me still being alive. hell, i think i should have died back as a middle schooler, and i've thought of it every year since that time. i'm not quite ready to ctb this year; i'm thinking my 25th birthday next year will be the last one i celebrate. it just seems like a good milestone. i suppose i'm just really upset with each birthday that passes because i think i'm…really not meant to still be here. how have i come this far? how do you personally cope with aging when you feel like you weren't supposed to be here today? i'm about to be 24 and i'm worth absolutely nothing, every meaningful relationship in my life tarnished because i hide away and speak to no one anymore. i just can't fucking believe i'm about to be another year older for no good reason.

 

[jodes2]

I hope you find a way to treat yourself to something nice on your birthday

 

[unnoticed]

I hope you find a way to treat yourself to something nice on your birthday

that's so very sweet of you, thank you really. it's the kindest thing i've heard in a while, i will try very hard to enjoy at least one part of the day.

 

[Opichi]

I feel like I wrote this post.. Cliche you're not alone quote. It's fucking torture to watch the days go by realizing that they're still GOING.

 

[Regen]

That sounds so sad. I understand you, although my situation is different from the outside, but I still know the feeling of deep and desperate loneliness. I also have different problems with other people all the time. Attending a 12 step group helps me a little bit. There I don't feel so lonely and still don't have the stress of having to do something concrete. Maybe you feel like making your little self a nice birthday, my child in me would be happy about a candle and a nice card, write yourself something nice, like you would say it to someone else.

 

[Hollowillow]

my birthday is on the 8th, and every single year i can't shake the feeling i am NOT supposed to have lived as long as i have. i've spent the last 3 of my birthdays alone and sobbing in my bed, feeling overwhelmingly confused and trapped simply by me still being alive. hell, i think i should have died back as a middle schooler, and i've thought of it every year since that time. i'm not quite ready to ctb this year; i'm thinking my 25th birthday next year will be the last one i celebrate. it just seems like a good milestone. i suppose i'm just really upset with each birthday that passes because i think i'm…really not meant to still be here. how have i come this far? how do you personally cope with aging when you feel like you weren't supposed to be here today? i'm about to be 24 and i'm worth absolutely nothing, every meaningful relationship in my life tarnished because i hide away and speak to no one anymore. i just can't fucking believe i'm about to be another year older for no good reason.

I'm 42, happy birthday in advance! I also spend it alone, but I got bullied by friends on my birthday & that was worse.

So I go to restaurants, or order home. I pamper myself.

You're 24, the human life expectation is like 80. Yeah! It freaks me out.

I made this. You're the first I give it for a birthday. I wish I could come for you. For dinner or murder

that's so very sweet of you, thank you really. it's the kindest thing i've heard in a while, i will try very hard to enjoy at least one part of the day.

You can come spend it with us if no one else will

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it horrifying the thought of getting older. I certainly feel like I should have left when I was much younger. In my case it would have never been too early to die and every year that I have stayed here has just prolonged my suffering. Your feelings are understandable, life is just depressing and I wish for no more days or years. Ctb should certainly be easier as I believe that with getting older the problems and misery increases.

 

[Worndown]

Not everyone can go out and be social. Communicate with people here. It is a start.
Happy Birthday in advance.

 

[Lifeaballache]

I hate the aging process. I have a big thing about it. I miss being a cute teenager with a 26 inch waist and flawless skin..

 

[Worndown]

Age does that. Damned age! (shakes fist at sky)

 

[Sourdough]

my birthday is on the 8th, and every single year i can't shake the feeling i am NOT supposed to have lived as long as i have. i've spent the last 3 of my birthdays alone and sobbing in my bed, feeling overwhelmingly confused and trapped simply by me still being alive. hell, i think i should have died back as a middle schooler, and i've thought of it every year since that time. i'm not quite ready to ctb this year; i'm thinking my 25th birthday next year will be the last one i celebrate. it just seems like a good milestone. i suppose i'm just really upset with each birthday that passes because i think i'm…really not meant to still be here. how have i come this far? how do you personally cope with aging when you feel like you weren't supposed to be here today? i'm about to be 24 and i'm worth absolutely nothing, every meaningful relationship in my life tarnished because i hide away and speak to no one anymore. i just can't fucking believe i'm about to be another year older for no good reason.

I'm about to turn 24 in March. I'm not sure if I'll wait that long though. 23 seems like a good year for me to go. Rivers Phoenix died at 23, my friends brother killed himself at 23, I think about them both often.

 

[Nolife62]

I hate the aging process. I have a big thing about it. I miss being a cute teenager with a 26 inch waist and flawless skin..

Who said you were a cute teenager I'm sorry I couldn't resist.

 

[ameliorateme]

i feel the exact same way, i turned 24 earlier this year :(

 

[Nolife62]

my birthday is on the 8th, and every single year i can't shake the feeling i am NOT supposed to have lived as long as i have. i've spent the last 3 of my birthdays alone and sobbing in my bed, feeling overwhelmingly confused and trapped simply by me still being alive. hell, i think i should have died back as a middle schooler, and i've thought of it every year since that time. i'm not quite ready to ctb this year; i'm thinking my 25th birthday next year will be the last one i celebrate. it just seems like a good milestone. i suppose i'm just really upset with each birthday that passes because i think i'm…really not meant to still be here. how have i come this far? how do you personally cope with aging when you feel like you weren't supposed to be here today? i'm about to be 24 and i'm worth absolutely nothing, every meaningful relationship in my life tarnished because i hide away and speak to no one anymore. i just can't fucking believe i'm about to be another year older for no good reason.

This is going to be the best birthday you ever had.... Why? you ask... Because not everyone gets a smartass response from me... Early Happy Birthday