Lazy
Just let me sleep
- Feb 25, 2025
- 29
I never actually had a panic attack but I've looked up the symptoms and while I'm usualy theh last person to self diagnose, this time I'm pretty sure. I've been shaking for several minutes straight, it feels as if I'm about to throw up and I gennuenly think that I am going insane. I don't think the urge to ctb was ever as present as right now, I'm almost glad I don't have my rope within proximety because I'm pretty sure I would go through with it, and I'm not quite done with my preperations. Forgive me that this is incoherent but I felt like I needed to talk to someone about this and I'm not about to make my friends/family worry. It just actually feels like I'm going mad, I've tried catching up to my uni program, absolutely failed and sacrificed going to lectures for nothing, I can't make myself talk to people so now I have spent the past several days in this paralysed state where I can do nothing, barely talk to anyone and still need to pretend to be happy for my mom. And I think the pressure finaly cought up to me. Again sorry for how shit it probably is to read this but I needed to talk to SOMEONE. I just want to fucking die, I don't think I have put so much energy into any thought in years.